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Turns out, the world’s best avocado toast was right on my doorstep. This was f’ing exquisite.

This weekend was about me exercising some much needed self care. I mean, I think I always treat myself pretty well. In fact, I probably verge on self indulgent (but whatever). This weekend was different in that I kind of cocooned myself. It was all about spending some quality alone time with Moi-self. Except for some texts, I didn’t socialise whatsoever. Saturday I don’t remember going out at all. I just watched some gangster series on Netflix cause I thought the lead actor was super hot LOL… way to be discerning Caroline!! I did want to go to the beach, but it was too cold. Sunday afternoon the weather warmed. I spent an ungodly amount of time on Pinterest and leafed through magazines on the porch. I took a bubble bath and listened to guided meditations on YouTube. I had some Godiva chocolate and some organic pasta, but at no point did I binge (yay me). I was good. I stayed in my calorie range.

Another thing I did on Saturday was write out a list of goals for the upcoming year. This has become a new custom of mine. I’m not a fan of New Years resolutions per say, but every year I like to make some goals. If I achieve them, great. If I don’t, no biggie. I just like to have a bit of an outline.

Last year was pretty successful. Although I didn’t make my reading goal (not by a long shot) or my savings goal, I managed to do some pretty cool stuff. I stopped drinking Diet Coke. I achieved my weight goal and my travel goals. The best thing I did this year was buy a car (which is why I didn’t achieve what I had hoped in terms of savings — but I didn’t do too bad either). As far as my car is concerned, I did something that totally freaked me the fuck out. I am so proud of myself for doing it. I’m still mentally high fiving myself for that one. I’ve been driving for about 3 months now, and I’m getting increasingly confident. There are few things I love more than proving to myself that I am capable, and that I can do scary things. Maybe one day in the upcoming year I can do a road trip to the Keys! If I can do that, I feel like I will have conquered something major. I got plenty of space for anyone (brave enough) to join me!

The next year I have quite a few goals, nothing terribly ambitious, just little things that I feel will enhance my life a bit. Some of the goals are just for fun, and some are for improvement. What are your thoughts? Do you make goals? Do you write them down like I do? Do you make resolutions? I’m curious.

Monday was the last day of my three day weekend. I did venture out. I had some errands to take care of. I also had my final IPL treatment. So far, I’d say there is a 75% improvement when it comes to sun spots. I was able to accomplish this for the same price it would cost have me to buy an expensive jar of skin cream that I know would not have produced the same results. While it may not sound particularly pleasant to have lasers zap you in the face, for me, taking care of my skin and making myself beautiful is an act of self care. What else did I do?

I discovered the most amazing coffee shop called R1 Coffee Company, a real gem in my neck of the woods where everything is cookie cutter suburbia. There I had the most sublime avocado toast with all the extras (smoked salmon and poached egg) plus properly brewed tea — nobody in Florida does properly brewed tea! It was expensive, “but I’m worth it,” she said as she brushed her fingers through her hair. I really think I’m ruined from Panera now. I officially declare this as my new breakfast spot/ tea time hang out. A fine lady such as myself has to treat herself, that’s what self care is all about!

So tomorrow I’m back in to work… I’m gritting my teeth already, but I think I can handle it. I’ll close my eyes and think of avocado toast.

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Sometimes I feel truly alone. Sometimes the shit hits the fan, and I look around and realize that there is nobody there to pick up the pieces but myself. Sometimes I really miss the days when I had a husband around to help me. Dr ManWhore was a great problem solver, despite his many faults. He didn’t like to see me sad, and he would bend over backwards to make my life easier for me when things were rough. Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise, however, that the only help I hear are the crickets chirping in the empty distance, because it forces me to deal with problems myself instead of allowing someone else to fix them for me. It matures me. It puts the power in my own hands. Quite frankly, it also kinda sucks.

Work has been breaking my back in the last two to three weeks, and I haven’t been handling it well— despite my peaceful demeanour. I’m good at appearing calm when I’m anything but. I’ve been doing a lot of binge eating. Aside from my regular meals I also ate 8 donuts today (yep, really). Yesterday my dinner was 2 grilled cheese sandwiches, ice cream, and a coconut macaroon. I guess I’ve been trying to comfort myself through fatty foods, but the result is that my belly hurts from the strain, and I feel disgusting. My neck and back are in knots from stress. Today I locked myself into a bathroom cubicle and just cried. I know I sound like a big baby, maybe I am one, but in my defence, former police officers have quit my job because the stress was too much. Big guys who know what it feels like to be shot at and tazered. But holiday time? It gets worse. I haven’t been handling it well.

I am going to take one of my very precious vacation/sick days tomorrow. I feel like my sanity requires it. If it’s not raining, maybe I’ll take a towel and lie on the beach, listen to the waves, and then visit a tea house. There is one on my radar I have been wanting to try. I feel so lousy my loves. Lousy and alone. Is this what it feels like to be an adult? Can I give it back? All I know is that I need to work really hard about getting myself in a decent headspace. I don’t want to feel this way.

Tonight I will be holding my own hand and settling my own heart, but oh how I long to lie in someone’s lap and hear the words I crave to be whispered by another human being, “it’s going to be okay.” (I should probably add that one to my 2017 holiday gift list, no?).

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Hello dollies!

It’s been a while since I last wrote anything, almost a month. I always write to you on my sister’s computer, but it was having technical difficulties which are now resolved. I am happy to say that all is well.

Let me start with a short recap. I didn’t get that promotion I applied for, but I am totally ok with that. I don’t think the position was actually suited to me. Still I put myself out there, and as a result, I was gifted with a new direction. You see, I was kind of a aimless as far as what I wanted my career path to be within my company, but as a result of the failed interview, I had a fantastic conversation with one of the bosses which really  helped me to figure out a route that I know would really be suited to me. I am very pleased I didn’t get the job, because now that I know the job I want, I don’t really want anything else.

All is well with Birdy and I. We had a couple of delicious trips to The Standard Spa, a few slumber parties, and in a most unladylike fashion, Moi invited herself over for Thanksgiving dinner. No regrets, I’d do it again. It was a lovely evening and I had a wonderful time. Birdy’s family are so welcoming to me, and that feeling of being included is one that I have always craved. I have been making the drive to Birdy’s place and getting more and more comfortable with driving on the highway. I am very proud of myself.

Work has been fun. Well, not work per say, but the work environment. My company goes all out for the holidays. We had the most fantastic pot luck. The manager of our district even cooked us turkeys! How cool is that? Then, yesterday, two of my co workers and I hung out after work and went to one of my favourite restaurants. I over ate … a lot … but whatevs. I know it may sound a bit strange, but I’ve never hung out with a co-worker outside of work before.  Once upon a time I was an isolated housewife who spoke to barely anyone. Now I actually have friends — they aren’t even imaginary! It is a novelty that I am still getting used to.

With Thanksgiving, the pot luck, going out to eat, and all the holiday fun, my diet has kind of gone to shit. Before all this started I reached just under 118 pounds. It was a f’ing pre-Christmas miracle. I dare not weight myself now. I am confident I’ll get myself back in gear. I have to. I just bought this beautiful dress I’ve been lusting after for about 6 months in the Black Friday sales online, and I am determined to look as ultra fab in it as I do in my imagination!

I am happy my loves. When was the last time I wrote that? I have everything I need and everything I want, and I am grateful beyond measure. Of course, we can always gild the lily a bit, no? I will just preface my list by admitting that the things I want most can’t be bought. They will require lots of good energy and patience. The other things, just cherries on the cake. If end up with none, I would not be even the tiniest bit sad. If I had a tree, these are the things I should like to be under it.

Birdy with a big red bow on him. I don’t know if he has the patience to crouch under a tree all night so he can surprise me for when I wake, but I can dream, no? Maybe he can even pop out of a cake or something. I think I’d like that very much.

A fabulous Norma Kamali bathing suit for when I luxuriate at The Standard. I love the retro glamour of it. It is just so Old  Hollywood.
Note: the ribbon on Birdy should match the color of my swimsuit.

Bill Mio swimsuit by Norma Kamali

The Curator Collection mascara set by Hourglass. I tried it NYC. Fantastic.

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A MacBook Pro. I’ve not owned a computer since moving back to the US, I think I’d quite like one. One with a big ass screen to match my expanding thighs. It’s all about balance dollies!

A fabulous getaway to somewhere I’ve never been. The ticket should come in a gold envelope methinks. Perhaps it can be tucked into an uber designer carry on.

OMG, am I not so good at making up presents?! We haven’t even scratched the surface. You see, just when you think you’ve witnessed the bottom of my batshit crazy… BOOM! There’s the bat shit crazy underground garage! And the garage has levels dontcha know?!

So tell me my dears, what is on your list? I know you have one, even if it’s not written down. Have you treated yourself to anything special?

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I thought this beauty by New Orleans artist Becky Fos was particularly gorgeous.

The first time I saw Birdy in three months, he picked me up at my house. We went to Starbucks and we talked. It felt so good to see him again. I had butterflies. Huge butterflies. I was excited, but also nervous as fuck. We talked about a lot of things, one of which was the cross country motorcycle ride he planned to take. The trip was to last about a month, and this would be the last I’d see of him before he returned. I was excited for him. He’d talked about doing this for some time, and it was finally happening. Although, I was quite cognizant that we wouldn’t have much of an opportunity to rekindle our relationship, I was totally fine with that. I was just so happy that we were talking again. Let everything just “be” and happen in its own time. Maybe it would give him time to miss me, I thought. You can imagine my surprise when he invited me to meet him the following week in New Orleans. Surprise was an understatement. Was he serious? Turns out he was. Hell yeah, I wasn’t going to miss visiting one of my favorite cities with the man I knew I’d never be able to get out of my head. I was on top of the world when we parted that night.

Fast forward to about a week later, and there I was in New Orleans. Saturday I had most of the day to myself as Birdy would not be arriving till the evening. I spent the day walking around Magazine Street visiting some of my favorite shops, browsing through Century Girl, some great art galleries, and enjoying the most divinely delicious lunch at Shaya.

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Hummus with lamb ragu and a hot pillowy pita that would ruin me for all pitas past and future. Damn, that meal was sublime!

I tired myself out. I did tons of walking that day. I clocked over 37,000 steps on my FitBit (that’s almost 16 miles – my record). I went to my room to change and not long after, Birdy arrived. Shenanigans ensued *cough.*

The following day we spent a lot of time walking around the city. I will admit, there were a few tense moments early in the day. I wasn’t getting the best vibe from Birdy. There were times where he gave off something that made me feel tense and on the defensive. I don’t think it was me, I think he had gotten upset by a text conversation he was having with his sister. As the day wore on though, things improved. He relaxed, and as a result, so did I. We ended up having the most wonderful evening. We had such a lovely dinner at the historic Hotel Monteleone in a beautiful restaurant called Criollo. Dinner was delicious. We laughed, we smiled at each other, at one point we even held hands across the table. It felt so good. I was smiling so much I felt like I could light up the room.

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I also learned the joy that is chargrilled oysters … dreamy!

Following dinner we took a walk to Frenchmen Street. There was something about that walk that was particularly romantic. The normally bustling streets of New Orleans were practically empty. The air was filled with the scent of flowers (Nola is so awesome like that, full of big trees, rich in blooms and scents). It was my first time visiting Frenchmen Street, and I was so happy to be experiencing it with Birdy by my side. There was all this great live music, and everyone seemed to be having such a good time. I was in heaven.

In the morning, after breakfast, it was time for Birdy to continue his adventure. We kissed goodbye. Birdy went on his way, and I went on mine. I hung around and enjoyed New Orleans on my own for a few hours. Our little weekend had come to a close. All was well.

So what’s going on with Birdy and I? Well in all honesty, I don’t know. I realized very recently that it’s best that I don’t analyze it (much). I just need to let whatever this is transpire and enjoy it’s unfolding. I have this terrible habit when it comes to Birdy. It comes from a place of fear, not of love. I recognize this. Because I want “us” so much, I have tried to steer things in certain directions, only to have my efforts backfire in the most catastrophic way. I absolutely must let go of trying to control the outcome. There is no other way. I want to learn to focus on the pleasure of our special times together. I loved visiting New Orleans with him, but I also love our simpler moments, like lying in bed watching “Unsolved Mysteries” together. The big things are great, but in the end it’s always the little ones that matter most. It’s always the simple memories that trigger the tenderest of my feelings. The one I’ll remember most from this trip is looking over at him, while he was sleeping. There was something I saw that was so warm and innocent, like a little boy. For the briefest moment, the armor had slipped, and I was reminded why it was that I have never been able to give up on him.

To be continued…

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Slightly ominous, no?

Rather than discussing all about what I got up to in NYC and recount everything I stuffed into my belly (I’ve done that before), I thought I’d write about a very cool excursion I made into Bushwick (Brooklyn). It ain’t Manhattan, that’s for sure. But what it is, is a street art hotspot. I booked a tour, and I was super excited to see what artists I would find there. It was so worth the trek! I also learned quite a bit in the process. And yeah, there was a little somethin’ for da belly too … you know how I roll.

Here’s an interesting fact I learned: did you know that street art all started because a guy was trying to get a girl’s attention? He went by Cornbread (though his real name was Darryl McCray). Sometime in the 60’s he started “tagging” the words “Cornbread loves Cynthia” all over Philadelphia. This started a trend that would spread far and wide. Others followed his example, and by the 70s, graffiti became a big deal in New York. By the 80s, it was a global phenomenon (not to mention a public nuisance). And yeah, Cornbread did win the heart of his beloved Cynthia. Graffiti was born.
In my eyes, street art is just as high an art as anything you would find at the Louvre. To prove it, I give you Exhibit A.
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It’s so fantastic, I almost die looking at it.
I went a couple hours early to scope the place out. I’m so glad I did, because otherwise I would not have seen what is undoubtedly the most beautiful piece of street art that I have ever personally encountered. It is a mash up of Rafael’s Madonna dell Granduca and Kieth Haring’s Radiant Baby. While Rafael did his work on a canvas with oils and paint brushes, Owen Dippie created a work on a much grander scale using spray cans. In my opinion, “stunning” doesn’t even come close to describing the results. So I ask you, who has the greater skill? The renaissance master painter, or the street artist? Food for thought my lovelies.
Nothing I saw wowed me in this same way, but I did get so see plenty of other cool pieces, including a couple by my beloved Invader…
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Isn’t this the coolest? I love this Joey Ramone invader!
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… but there was plenty of other stuff too. Eye candy galore! Mostly the tour concentrated on what is called the “Bushwick Collective.” This is basically sanctioned street art, where the neighborhood business owners allow the artists to beautify the space, simply for art’s sake. There is no money exchanging hands. In return, Bushwick gets to look freaking awesome. I love that. Some really famous street artists from far and wide have come to help decorate the space.

Here are a few of my favorites:

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D*Face, from the UK

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The notorious Vandal Gummy Bear by Whisbie.

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A mural of my best girl, my beloved Frida.
I took loads of pictures, but I think you are ready to eat. Non, mon amours? I think if there is one special place to eat in Bushwick, it’s the legendary Roberta’s. In fact, Bushwick and Roberta’s are quite synonymous. This uber hipster hangout is not just a place for guys with pretty beards and well manicured mustachios! Oh no! This place makes some fine and  fatty pizzas. Moi had the “white guy pizza” (though I have to say, I think I am partial to Cubans *wink*).

No my dears, I’m not going to waste my time convincing you. A picture will tell you all you need to know.

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Yeah, that hunting in the Bush(wick) is no easy task, but someone’s got to do it *burp.*

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So there is this place in New York, Murray’s. It’s a bagel place. I’ve talked about it on here before. I know it sounds crazy, but it is my favorite place in the New York City. It’s not just for the bagels, though I can honestly say their smoked fish bagels are the best in the universe. No, it’s not simply the food, it’s something else.

Something comes over me when I’m sitting there, it’s almost like a tsunami of nostalgia. There is something about the place reminds me of my childhood, even though I never ate such decadently stuffed bagels in my youth (I remember my mom and dad saying, “just cut the salmon into little pieces, it’s expensive.”) What can I tell you my lovelies? I had a very Jewish upbringing LOL.

Then there’s the 70s and 80s music they play in the background. It’s the same stuff I remember my dad listening to when I was a little girl. My dad used to love playing music for us. He used to sing along, and me and my sister would run around the living room. That was our version of dancing. Right now as I sit they are playing “California Dreaming” by the Mammas and the Papas. It’s pouring outside, I daren’t move from the comfort of Murray’s, so I settle in. My belly has a big fat bagel in it — positively lush at that. I feel safe, satisfied, and completely at peace.

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There are also my own memories that I associate with Murray’s (right now they are playing Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing’”). I remember sitting here with my ex husband, eating bagels together. I was so happy, on top of the world. We came to NYC, our first and only time together, to celebrate our ten year anniversary. I fell in love with New York. I think he did too. Together we had the best time. I had no idea there would only be a couple years left. I remember coming here after we separated. Proof to myself that I would do things by myself and be happy despite how anyone tried to hurt me. I remember coming here last year. I saw my first snow in years. They were playing “In a Big Country.” Later that day I would find out my ex went bankrupt. I remember feeling somehow vindicated by the universe. Right now “Love is a Battlefield” plays in the background. What is it about this place? Who here knows the soundtrack to my life and decided to play it in the most ironic fashion?

Now as I sit waiting for the rain outside to pass, I think of another man. Yeah, you know who I’m talking about: Birdy. I don’t know how to explain to you that when I met him, I felt a sort of resonance within my heart. I knew he was going to be someone very special to me. He has been very dismissive of me in the past. Sometimes he has left me feeling deeply hurt. He was (and is) going through the most difficult challenge in his life, and I must acknowledge that I played a part in our separation. I pushed him when he was already dangling over the edge, and I regret it.

As of a few days ago, the lines of communication have been opened between us. Where this will lead, I have yet to discover. He will be away on a month long cross country journey on his motorcycle. I’m happy for him. He needs time alone, time to think, and time to not think. He hasn’t had it since his brother committed suicide. He took on the role of caregiver to his parents, and tried so desperately to hold his family together. It was too much weight for one person’s shoulders.

I do realize what I’m opening myself up to. Yes, I can be hurt again, but I am willing to take the risk. If there’s one thing I learned, it’s that as painful as heartbreak is, I have a 100% rate of survival. I’m like a cockroach, just a slightly prettier.

Before you know it, I’ll be back in NY again, visiting Murray’s, and there will be another bagel in my belly. And though I don’t know where my head will be, I know that I’ll be okay. The Universe has my back.

OMG!!! Do you know what song is playing right now? “Sweet Caroline.” Synchronicity at its finest my lovelies. I couldn’t make this stuff up.

 

Things are going well, very well indeed. As I sit and drink my Mariage Freres Earl Grey Imperial from Paris and plan world domination, I pause to reflect on my many blessings. Life has been pretty swell. Below are five things that are causing me great amusement at the moment. Plus I have a little secret… but I’m keeping that to myself for now.
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1. As this post is published, I will be making my way to NYC. I have some super fun things planned. I’m going on two art tours which I’m totally excited about. One is a street art tour in Brooklyn. The second is going to be a cheeky fun tour at the MET called Nasty Women of the Metropolitan Museum. I’ve also got my yearly haircut booked at a fancy AF salon. I do love a little pampering. Of course there is going to be some exquisite eats for my belly, and hopefully a few little souvenirs to take home. I feel strongly that the best thing to bring home are simply my memories though. I’m a strong believer in collecting moments, not things. Things get lost, taken, or can get destroyed, but your experiences? Those are gold my lovelies.
 2. I finally got to eat a burger at Le Tub.
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I remember first hearing about this place on the Oprah show. It’s been called one of the best burgers in America. OMG you guys that burger is a Martha Falking monster. It’s 13oz of sirloin. That’s almost a pound!! It was mighty and delicious. The place itself is tres charmant! It’s an outdoor shack with a sort of tiki hipster vibe, decorated with old bathtubs and toilets. This old 1975 gas station turned burger joint is trailer park chic at at its finest. It overlooks the water, and as you eat little birds fly in to try and partake of the meaty shenanigans. I can’t blame them, who can resist the heady perfume of flame grilled beef, am I right?
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My dear friend Curly and I scarfed down our burgers and the ultra hot and delicious steak cut fries, but best burger ever? No. We give it a very solid and satisfying 8.5/10. Its surely one of Florida’s finest, but for me, the Emperor Burger at Charm City still rules the roost. It’s somewhere I’d absolutely go back to… in a heart beat. And yeah, I totally ate the whole thing. Caroline is the boss dollies. I can chow down with the big boys (I’m not sure if that’s a good thing, but it sure is fun).

 

3. I have some pretty exciting news. When I come back from NYC I will be interviewing for an internal post at my company. It would mean a raise, a promotion, and more desirable work hours. I am thrilled to be considered. While there are other people applying, some more senior than myself, I’m going to think good thoughts and trust that the Universe has my back. I want this, I really do! I am going to fill myself with happy thoughts and just go with the flow. I open myself to the wondrous possibilities. Send me your good vibes dollies!

4. I started some IPL (intense pulsed light) treatments to deal with some sun spots I started to get on my face — much to my dismay. This seems to be hereditary for the women on my mom’s side of the family. We are all fair skinned. I had the first treatment last week, and I’m extremely pleased with my results. I got a great deal on Groupon for three treatments. I may dedicate a post solely to the experience once it’s all done. I am looking forward to the final result. Treatment two will be one week from now. I’m looking forward to it.

5. My head is in a good place. That is big. I continually try to uplift myself. I’m so serious about raising my energy, it’s almost like a side job because it requires some serious energy. Learning to be happy, however,  pays much greater dividends than any career. I read good books (recently I read  “Spirit Junkie” by Gabrielle Bernstein) and I listen to motivational stuff and fun music when I take my walks. What else? Well, pretty much whatever the fuck makes me happy. It’s just that simple, but don’t be fooled, it is not without effort. One thing I learned on my life’s journey is that happiness isn’t something that just happens. We generate it. Unfortunately we aren’t taught how to flex this happiness muscle as children in school. We are taught to get good grades, to be well behaved, and to be productive. All of that is useless without joy. I am learning every day how to generate joy. Some days are more successful than others. My personal happiness is something selfish and self indulgent, but it is quite necessary. It’s the best thing I ever gave myself. It is fun, it is beautiful, and quite frankly, it is Devine.

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Hurricane Irma passed us, and I am happy to say, that despite what it looks like on the news, and aside from some fallen trees, we are unscathed. In fact, here where I live, we did not experience one power outage. My biggest complaint about Irma was that I was completely and utterly bored. I tried to fill the time by filling myself up with little brain goodies (and belly goodies too LOL, there goes my awesome weight loss progress).

What are brain goodies you ask? Things that make me feel good on the inside, happy and empowering quotes and pictures, uplifting stuff on YouTube, cheerful songs, and I downloaded Gabrielle Bernstien’s Spirit Junkies on Audible. Going to listen to that after I finish this post. I am a hippie at heart. So maybe it does sound a little flaky fairy when I tell you I’m working on raising my vibration, but that’s exactly what I’m doing.

Below I have made a collage of just a few of my little brain goodies. It’s stuff I collected on Instagram and Pinterest. Just little snippets that I browse when I need a little pick me up. Chocolate cake works too.

Click any image to enlarge.

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Sometimes a woman needs to date herself. This was the case even when I was married. I lived a very solitary life as a housewife. My ex was often busy, and was not around much (I wonder why…). I learned that if I wanted to do something I had a choice: I could go alone or not go at all. It wasn’t a hard decision for me. My sister in law would tell me that it was “sad” that I’d do all these things by myself. I would always reply, “What’s sadder, me going alone, or you staying home?” I would go to nice restaurants on my own, shopping, see shows, and even spend a few days in Paris all by myself. It was surprisingly empowering. Believe it or not I have grown to love my little solo adventures. Sure, doing what you love with someone you love is the best, but doing what you love on your own really isn’t that bad… actually it’s kind of awesome. There is something very self indulgent about it. I can do exactly what I want without having to worry about what someone else thinks. I don’t need to care if someone is having a good time. I don’t need to worry about what restaurant someone else wants to eat at, or what kind of schedule they are on. I can spend all my time looking at ballgowns and fantasizing if that’s what I choose. It’s all about me. I have to say, I’m totally ok with that. It’s come to a point that I’m so used to having my solo adventures, that these days, doing things with someone else sometimes feels outside of my comfort zone. I’m not a loner by any means, but my alone time is special to me. I treasure it.

Friday I took the day off from work and got to fulfill a wish of mine: seeing Dita Von Teese perform in one is her burlesque show, The Art of the Teese. I am such a big fan. I love her for her grace, style, talent, her cheeky elegance, not to mention her exceptional beauty. When I found out she was going to be in Miami at The Fillmore, there was nothing that could keep me away. I desperately wanted to go with Birdy, but that didn’t work out. Still, I was going. No man is going to suck the joy out of my life. Yeah, I get hurt and upset (and the truth is I miss him terribly), but ultimately I realize that I do have a say in how happy I get to be. Despite some bad days, I will always choose happiness. ALWAYS.

It’s no secret that I like to treat myself well when I can, so that’s exactly what I did. First stop was a late lunch at The Dutch in the W Hotel in South Beach. I had a yummy spicy  Korean fried chicken sandwich with fries, followed by what I’m guessing is the world’s best key lime pie. It is godly my dears. The holy grail of key lime pie, and believe me, I’ve had a few.  These thighs don’t lie.

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I walked along Lincoln Road Mall, but in all honesty that wasn’t doing it for me. It was 96 degrees out, and I was melting. I persevered. I was going to see Dita.

Just waiting on line at The Filmore was an experience. Some people were dressed to the nines, a la Dita. How I wish I knew how to do my hair Dita style. Note to self: must watch hair tutorials on YouTube. Just people watching was entertaining. But the show itself? It was everything. Dita was glorious!!! Wonderful costumes, dancing, humor… and get this, there was even a real live marriage proposal on stage. My favorite act was the opener where Dita does her famous champagne glass routine. There were also some other awesome burlesque dancers (which I guess gave Dita the chance to rest between sets), and there was a super funny and fabulous master of ceremonies who kept us laughing the whole time. Dita certainly had an awesome “Vontorage.” It was an evening of rhinestones, glamour, and fun. It was something I will never forget, and I’m so glad I went. If you have the opportunity to go, GO! That’s all I can say.

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The moral of this post: don’t be afraid or intimidated from doing things alone. It’s better than doing nothing at all. In fact, you may find yourself in a storm of Swarovski and Louboutins with a supremely delicious key lime pie in your belly. I think we can all agree, there ain’t nothing wrong with that.

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The past two weeks have had its share of ups and downs. The big downer was a very ugly text conversation between Birdy and I.  Suffice it to say, it was nasty, and I doubt there will ever be any further communication between us, which is sad because I really loved him *le sigh.* Unfortunately that’s not mutual. I guess it’s his loss. I don’t know what his problem is. I’m a fucking delight. When the time is right, I’m just going to put myself back on Match.com and try dating again. Till then, I’m just going to be awesome on my own.

Despite this, life has been pretty freaking good to me lately. Here are five things which are making me mightily amused at the moment.

  1. My car. Oh my goodness, it is so fabulous having a car of my own. I’m still getting used to it. I’m a bit of a nervous driver. My car just feels so big (because I’m used to driving my mother’s tiny one). I haven’t been very adventurous… yet. I’ve just been taking myself to work and back, and there was one trip to the mall. That will change as I get more comfortable. It was a little scary for me to spend that much money (I paid in full).  My friend MJ said that the expense was the price of freedom. So right! I really think a lot more doors will be open to me as a result.
  2. My 1 year anniversary at my job came around. I feel blessed beyond measure to have the job I have. The company I work for has excellent ethics, and the people I work with make my job something that I’m happy to wake up early in the morning for. My boss is lovely. Sometimes I feel like my job is one of the best things I got going for me.  Don’t get me wrong, I have days that are utterly craptastic, but on the whole, I can honestly say that I love my job. I can’t wait to get promoted!
  3. Free stuff: I’ve been able to get some lovely free goodies lately.
  • I got a $200 gas gift card that I redeemed from credit card points I didn’t even know I had (and truthfully I don’t understand why I have them, but whatevaaaaa LOL).
  • There was also enough to get a free $15 Panera card. I’m always at Panera.
  • I got a $10 credit from Godiva  (sign up for their rewards card … so worth it). 
  • Best of all, a dear friend helped me to access some airline credit which allows me a free round trip ride to NYC. I’m going in early October. I’m doing it on the cheap, but I know it will get expensive once I get there … that’s how I roll dollies.Screen Shot 2017-08-20 at 4.28.55 PM.png4. I reached my goal weight. My goal was to get to below 120 pounds. I weighed myself on Saturday and the scale registered 118.8. How freaking cool is that? I’m officially thin (kind of). I’m super pleased with myself. If I’m being completely real though, I think I look exactly the same.796adf08508c65a67477248656f6ad7b--brownie-batter-cake-batter.jpg5. Tei Shi’s “Basically”:  I love browsing YouTube and finding artists that I never heard of before. Tei Shi is kind of a gem. My favorite song of hers is called Basically. It’s a great song with an almost 80s appeal and a totally upbeat vibe. It just plain old makes makes me feel good, and isn’t that what life is all about?