Of all the holidays I missed most while I lived in the UK, it was most definitely Thanksgiving. In all honesty, it wasn’t about the sitting around the table with my loved ones and giving thanks, it was about the unabashed food orgy. I’m always down with that! Well, this year, I find myself back in the USA, and I will indeed be with my family, and I am also totally going to be wearing some elasticated stretch pants (I can afford to now, I’ve lost a good amount of weight on the “grief diet”) but, for the first time I’m also going to give thanks. I have a lot to be thankful for this year, despite all the craziness.
1. Friends: The best thing that came out of this year is some wonderful friendships. It’s strange because, I have had very few friends in my life. From the time I was 17, until quite recently, I have always had a man in my life. I made them the center of my world, and nobody else mattered. Friendships were not to important to me, I could take them or leave them. I was stupid. Today, there is no man in my life, but I have more friends now than I have ever had before. Not just acquaintances, but people that I genuinely care for, and they care for me in return. It is a new experience, and a good one… but if God is reading this, I’d also like a man LOL.
2. Being back in America: Okay, well if I’m completely honest, this wasn’t what I wanted at all… but this is what I got, and it’s not so bad. First of all, I truly believe that the people here are the friendliest around. They smile at you, and they say hello. People here talk to strangers. Trust me, this does not happen in the UK. I like it. Being in Florida is also awesome because of the warmth and the sunshine. If I were in England right now, during this time of year, my nose would be running, I’d have dry skin and eyes from the heaters, and I’d be wearing my coat in the house. Winter in the UK was a perpetual state of discomfort for me, I never got used to it. Plus, the daylight hours are very short. Sometimes nightfall starts around 3:30. I totally don’t miss that.
3. And speaking of warmth, there’s something else I’m thankful for: after many, many years, I feel a fire burning inside of me again. Sometimes it’s and angry fire, a fire that burns out of rage. Sometimes it’s a fire of survival: a fire that burns because I know that I’m on on my own now, and I’ve got to fight to do this on my own. This fire is something I thought was totally extinguished. It happened shortly after I got married. For so many years I used to sit back and just let my husband deal with the hard things. Now I don’t have that choice anymore. I am learning that I actually can do it on my own, and I am so f’ing proud of myself that I am getting back on my feet. It’s been a dark year, but they say fire burns brighter in the darkness. Some women are lost in the fire, and some women are built from it. Well, I’m not sure which one I am, but I can tell you that I’m toasting marshmallows LOL.
So, this Thanksgiving, what are you thankful for? Wishing you and your loved ones a very happy holiday.