Guilty Pleasures

As I write this, I am at work. I just moved desks (which I’m happy about), but the lines aren’t  properly connected, which means I can’t use the phone or the internet.  As you may imagine, I am deeply saddened.  I am sitting here in my “new home” and my mind drifts…  that happens a lot with me LOL. Today I’d share my favorite guilty pleasures.

It it wasn't for powerful self control, I could totally be on that show too.
It it wasn’t for powerful self control, I could totally be on that show too.

My 600 Pound Life:

There are several reasons why this show is such a guilty pleasure for me. In some ways, I feel like I should be ashamed of myself simply for watching the inner workings of a fat person’s life simply because they are fat. But watch it I do!

  1. Whenever I feel like I’ve gone off my diet, whenever I feel like my thighs are looking particularly meaty, or had a run in with one of those awful mirrors where you can see yourself from behind, I can watch My 600 Pound Life and feel better about myself. Instead of comparing myself to a 20 year old supermodel, it’s sometimes awesome to check out the other end of the spectrum.
  2. I am strangely fascinated by the fat form, the way the body shapes itself when it gets unusually large… those rolls!
  3. Despite their uncommon looks, I am cheered up by the fact that many of them have partners who love them. If there is hope for them, there must be hope for me too. Maybe, somewhere in the world there is someone for everyone, someone who will love me despite my flaws and eccentricities. I long to meet someone who sees my differences as something that makes me special,  someone who loves me enough that he would let not any obstacle keep us apart. Love, when all the odds are stacked against you, that is the ultimate fairytale, and it seems that some of them on the show have found that. It gives me hope.

Mall pretzels:

The pretzel nuggets and the little hot dog bites are simply lovely when they are warm and fresh.
The pretzel nuggets and the little hot dog bites are simply lovely when they are warm and fresh.

They have absolutely no nutritional value. It is just empty calories of carbs and a bit of butter. That’s a magic combination my lovelies. They are warm too, so that makes them extra comforting. That and a diet coke (yeah, who am I kidding… diet my ass), it soothes a tired soul. As you must know, spending money on things you don’t need is hard work. Wasting time at the mall instead of engaging in cultural pursuits, it’s a way of life for me these days. These little pretzel nuggets aid me in my chore.

Being hideously comfy:

"As a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, so must you become DERELIQUE"--Mr Mugatu from Zoolander.
“As a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, so must you become DERELIQUE”–Mr Mugatu from Zoolander.

After work, the first thing I do is change into the most hideous outfit you could possibly fathom. It starts with a long t-shirt with a parrot on it. That thing has got to be at least 20 years old. That is followed by a pair of super baggy aqua blue sweatpants from Victoria’s Secret. Perhaps at one point they might have been deemed slightly fashionable, but I promise you, they aren’t anymore! This monstrosity is capped off by an orange hooded sweatshirt. It looks remarkably like what Kenny wears on South Park, especially when I pull the drawstrings of the hood (yes, I do do that sometimes LOL, just for effect). And do you know what? I feel soooooo good in that outfit. It is so ridiculously comfy, pure awesomeness. In the old Hollywood movies, women say , “I’m just going to slip into something more comfortable,” and she would come out wearing something devastatingly sexy. Not me. Every woman knows that sexy and comfy are two words that never really go together.  My hideous ensemble is my way of saying that I am done with human contact for the day. It’s me time,  I’m going to look as ugly as I can, and feel good about it.

Trashy romance novels:

Yep, that's about as much action as I get LOL!
As this is truly my life, romance novels are required reading 😉

For someone who has a Summa Cum Laude degree in English Literature, I should be hanging my head in shame. I haven’t had a man in my life since Napoleon, so this is about as romantic as my life gets at the moment.  Let’s be frank dollies, often men are way better in books anyway!  In the novels, the man will always text you back LOL (well, that would be if hot Highland men had iPhones).

Pinterest:

Pinster

Probably my biggest guilty pleasure of all is Pinterest. God, I waste loooooads of time on that thing. Sometimes, after a particularly rough day when my neck is aching from stress and I am feeling completely worn out, Pinterest is just what I need. It is a tremendous source of escapism for me. I browse beautiful works of art, salivate over food porn, read inspirational sayings, gaze at couture clothing, indulge in a bit of humor… bliss. It is basically a clip art wish list of all things glam and girlie. I adore it. Yeah, I could be doing something productive with my time, such as exercising instead of pinning what exercizes I can do to achieve perfectly toned arms but… no.

Writing about my guilty pleasures, well it makes me kind of happy. Most of life can be really boring. Most of us spend at least 8 hours at work, and loose about 6 hours in sleep. There has to be time to dream and indulge and just do dumb stuff. Why? Just because we can.

So tell me daaahlings, what are your guilty pleasures?

13 Comments

  1. Mine is pretty bad, at least for around here… I go out onto the front porch with my laptop, drink pinot noir, and chain smoke. No one admits to smoking here so it’s pretty naughty. (Though I see lots of moms in family-mobiles smoking in traffic. lol) It’s an upperclass area (homes are affordable in our village though – we’re talking a disparity of 1850s homes for $110K-150K as opposed to new construction surrounding us for $450K up to a million) and smoking is just.not.done. Thus, I feel guilty and low brow. 😛 That’s typically why I DRESS to do this… heels, sassy clothes, and hair done- and no children are around. I try to “keep it classic” so that on the rare occasion someone notices, it doesn’t look so bad. haha! I don’t smoke in front of people who don’t smoke… even if W comes out onto the porch, I put it out. And I have floor-ceiling bamboo shades and bushes and ferns in front of that, with earbuds so no one hears the noise of shows/movies.

    It’s MY porch. 😛 I especially love when it’s storming. This photo is blurry from when I went to take a picture and thunder vibrated through me and the camera.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Guilty shmilty. I refuse to feel guilt for enjoying things. Far too much of my life is about the shoulds and the musts. If I steal some time for myself I deserve it. I own it. It is mine. And it is far too bloody rare.

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  3. OMG, love the microwave meme! I laughed out loud. Okay, I love those pretzel hot dog things. I cannot even remember the last time I had those, and cinnabon. I looked up the calories/sugar/fat (big mistake) of a cinnabon after watching “Better Call Saul” and that opening scene of the premiere episode. I should not have done that. I also watched one episode of my 600 lb. life last year on a particularly bad day and wouldn’t you know it, I watched the one show where the husband was cheating on the poor woman WHILE she was having her bypass surgery!!! Ugh. One of the crazy things I do is watch Biggest Loser and for some reason, it makes me so hungry. Especially when they are obsessively exercising. I also watch sappy Lifetime Movies (my husband HATES this). Especially the ones where the betrayed wife is in danger… the mistresses are always such bitches and you know they are going to get it in the end. I did this even long before dday. See, this is a big problem since my husband was diagnosed… I have NO time alone. The guy is so needy! I binge watched The Affair last year while my husband and son were at pro basketball games. I could almost cram in three episodes while they were gone. My husband hates the TV I watch and also he cannot really watch much anymore because it is triggering to HIM. Ugh. I haven’t smoked since I smoked cloves in college so I wouldn’t eat anything at all the bars I went to, but I haven’t smoked since then. I might take it up again to smoke with you and IH on her porch, ha!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh, also, I have 95 Pinterest boards with nearly 11,000 pins. So much food porn, but I also have boards like Glamorous Gowns (which I will never wear) plus a bunch of travel boards, and design boards, etc… great fun!

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  5. Hi Caroline, well, I can relate to many of your guilty pleasures LOL! I love this post. I have purple (mauve?) sweats that are so damn comfy!! I don’t dare wear them outside though.I love to window shop. I indulge in lattes almost daily. I love peanut butter cookies. I watch The Voice…all my guilty indulgences of late. I love Pinterest too, I hope we’re following each other there. I’ll check it out 🙂

    Like

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