The Little Things

Well, I try, but occasionally the bitch switch gets flipped.
Well, I try, but occasionally the bitch switch gets flipped.

Sometimes it’s easy for me to get upset and overwhelmed. Pettyness and cruelty offend me quite deeply. My tolerance isn’t what it used to be. Yesterday my bitchy manager at work decided to “write me up” (what am I, five years old?) for texting at my desk. I’m told next time I’m going to get fired. “Stupid cow,” I want to yell, “I have eaten dinners that cost more than your weekly salary, how dare you.” And then I remember that I actually need my shitty job, that I’m poor now. But what kind of woman does that to another woman? She knows I’m a divorcee with a meager salary. Yeah, it takes a special woman to want to take the food off another woman’s table, and that kind of woman deserves a special place… in hell. Damn, I’ve come a long way from being a doctor’s wife. Remembering that, well it kind of hurts sometimes. Amidst my frustration, when I got to the safety of the lunch room, I could feel the heat engulfing my face… and then, I’m somewhat embarrassed to admit,  the tears came. Feelings of shame (of my new status in life) mixed with feeling kind of sorry for myself, and anger: those emotions settled in my eyes, and rolled out as tears.

What is a girl to do when everything is gone? I’ll tell you the answer. It’s something I have been training myself to do. Some days I have more success at it than others.

0532a2d63deebb03fa314f919e7f91a6The trick is this: love the little things. Without trying to get all religious on you guys, let me just say that I believe in God. I feel that God scattered beauty and goodness all over the world, but we become blind to those blessings. We just get so wrapped up in the crap. So what exactly am I talking about? I’m talking about the way the sun feels when it warms your skin, a beautiful flower or a pretty bird, the peace of a hot cup of tea, the way that art and poetry had the power to lift the human spirit. There is so much beauty out there my lovelies. It is ours if only we choose to grab it. It’s there if you’ve got loads of money or if you don’t have two pennies to rub together. You just need to train your eye to look for those things: a kind smile from a stranger, some sweet words from a friend, a chubby pink cheeked child with grubby hands… the list is a mile long. Just look for it. I feel like these are God’s signs that everything is going to be okay. They are out there. Find them. Grab them. Recognize them for what they are. And when your boss is giving you shit an you feel low and a bit scared, take those things out of your memory box in your head and know that you will get through this. And you will get through it. What other choice is there?

And now, my lovelies, join me in giving my supervisor the one fingered salute! Just because I keep my mouth shut at work, does not mean I can’t handle some lame bitch. I invented bitchcraft daaahling.

10 Comments

  1. In honor of this post, I just asked my Tokyo brother to text me a picture of his princess. Surely that will lift my mood. Now I just need to wait until it is a reasonable hour for him to get back to me, ha. “What kind of woman does that to another woman.” I keep asking myself that question. I used to work for a woman like your boss, when I was 18 years old. She actually said, out loud in a meeting, “Kat is full of herself. I think it’s time to bring her down a notch.” WTF? I learned a long time ago that women can be cruel bitches to other women, especially if they for some reason feel threatened. Still trying to understand it more than 30 years later. Still not sure what kind of woman, but I can surely tell you there is a f**k load of them out there. Time for a cup of herbal tea. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Actually my post was inspired by our conversation about your post when you were talking about how sometimes fancy dinners and vacations don’t always fix the way you are feeling.
      Little princesses have magic powers though, they can sometimes make real smiles ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  2. This is a great post!!! Things dont last an eternity and you will conquer this phase of your life.

    I remember once too, a previous boss wrote me up for whatever it was, and I bitched back at him. I reminded him if i were going to lose my job because of my right to answer back, he’d be in very serious trouble. Also i once found an email where I had sent my lead a note saying I was going to be 5 mins late. The boss said to him on email, make sure this doesn’t happen again. I managed to get a copy of that email and went to his desk and told him, grow some damn balls and tell me directly that you have a problem with me letting my lead know I was going to be barely 5 minutes late. And to quite his bitching.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. 1. I love this: **** I’m talking about the way the sun feels when it warms your skin***
    2. You’ve come a long way!
    3. I believe in GIRL POWER. yessssssssssssssssssss
    4. I believe w/out GOD, I’d be, well, Gone.
    5. I believe in “YOU.”
    6. I believe we should KICK your supervisor’s ( BITCH) ASSSSSS.

    xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oooh, yes it always comes back to the little things in life that can bring us immense joy. The smell of fresh coffee in the morning always makes me want to start over again, no matter what. Your boss sounds like a beyatch! I love that “the bitch switch gets flipped”. Ha! I’ve never heard that before but I’ll be using that phrase.

    You’re awesome, Caroline!

    Liked by 1 person

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