The Grace of a Woman

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Recently I lost something that meant a lot to me. It was something that made me feel hopeful and optimistic. For a time I was waking up with a smile on my face for the first time in a long time, and a greater sense of purpose. I was inspired. I became more productive at work. I also began to take on a more healthier lifestyle. I am sure I will be receiving emails from Nabisco any day now, wondering why there are so many Nutter Butters on the shelf at my local supermarket! Damn, those Nutter Butters are some freaking good cookies! And then one day, it vanished as quickly as it appeared. It felt crap. It made me sad. I cried it out a bit, but I also did something else, which was a little out of character for me: I thanked God for taking it away. Why? That thing that was making me happy, was not necessarily a good thing. It came with some strings that weren’t entirely comfortable for me. It is most definitely a good thing to get out of one’s comfort zone, but it was yet to be determined if my new hopefulness was going to end up effecting me in a positive way, or a destructive one. I have decided to just release any grievances I have on the matter into the Universe. This is a very novel approach for me, but I’ll tell you a secret: it felt good. Perhaps at the age of 40, maybe, just maybe, I am starting to grow up.

Just so you know, I’m keeping my new healthier eating habits (minus the occasional peanut butter cookie LOL), and I am determined to do my best to stay focused on my new job–which is going okay so far, if you consider that I haven’t gotten fired yet ;). I suffered a loss, but it’s not a total loss. I’m taking my consolation prizes, and in the words of my spirit animal, Cartman from South Park:

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To ease any residual discomfort I am feeling over the issue, I decided to indulge in a bit of retail therapy. You know, it costs just as much as real therapy, but I actually get goodies. Try it some time dollies. Moi has pre ordered the new iPhone 6S, cause well… f*ck, I deserve it! If I can’t have what I want, I’m damn well going to make sure I go home with a few parting gifts. I can do that, because I am an adult now (or at least that’s what my driver’s license seems to indicate).

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Yeah, so this “grace” thing? I got that sh*t down!

17 Comments

  1. I am so sorry for the loss, but very inspired and comforted by your post. LOVE the poem. It’s frankly just perfect and works for all of us! I see an awesome trip to NOLA on the horizon. Start planning for the fun of it. I’ll start a P Board. Count me in! Love and hugs from way over here in the Pacific NW. ♥️

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I’m so sorry for your loss but my awe at your kick-ass attitude overshadows it! 😉 I have never really stepped out from my comfort zone. Maybe like a few bold steps and then come rushing right back in! I can’t even order grilled chicken instead of butter chicken, that I ALWAYS eat while dining at a restaurant despite liking both. :$ Maybe one day!💪😝

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I read this last night after spending the day with my oldest and dearest friend, she has just very recently produced a baby, a beautiful baby girl. At what should be a magical time she is having the worst time with her husband (I am trying to write a blog post about it, but I’m struggling to do so without venting) I grabbed the poem and sent it straight over to her. All I received back was “I love you”….queue more crying. Bravo caroline, and I hope you don’t mourn your loss for too long or too deep x

    Liked by 1 person

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