Where does love go from here?

What happens if you are a person with too much love inside of you and no place for it to go? What happens if your passion and fire is too hot? What happens if you feel like it’s burning you from the inside, threatening to destroy you, burning you alive?

I know my posts go from positive to very sad and negative sometimes. That’s because sometimes I’m okay, and sometimes I’m just not. Part of me wants to be strong and independent, and the other part just wants to love and be loved with a desperation that is truly frightening.

The idea that this is it… it kills me. It hurts too much. I want so much to believe that there is more, that somewhere out there is a love just for me.  But here I am… alone, sitting on the floor in a flood of tears wondering what the point is. I would NEVER consider ending things, but honestly there are times where I feel like I am already dead. Sometimes my only escape is numbing myself with endless hours of Netflix. There just has to be more than this. I live, but this does not feel like a life.

17 Comments

  1. I know. Last night, I googled “How do I stop feeling dead inside?” That’s the happiest I’ve been for a long time… when I have to shut it all down and feel nothing because the intensity is too great. I loved that way too. I still do… and the intensity from the pain burns just as hot.

    There has to be something more than this. Shutting down in self-preservation and going through the motions.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes. Sometimes I have it in spades, and then there are days where I feel so completely out of my depth. I feel scared and alone, and I wonder how I’m ever going to get past these feelings. I want so much to be positive. Today just wasn’t a good day.

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  2. Feeling dead inside is common for a few of us, I think. I thought I was the only one and was afraid to voice it until I started my blog. I, too don’t know what to do about it. It’s like I’ve been cryogenically frozen and am just waiting for the “cure” so that I can live again.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You know how I feel. You are gonna have bad days, but I believe that you will find a place for that love to go. It will happen. I started yoga today and there were tons of single men of all ages in the beginner’s class. The guy next to me was quite handsome. Just sayin’. ❤ Sending you good vibes. Always thinking of you! xoxo

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I was wearing unflattering black yoga pants and a black long sleeve cotton top with my hair pulled up in a messy old ponytail, no makeup, and somehow couldn’t get rid of the handsome 50ish guy next to me (full head of hair too!!!). You, lovely C, will have them trailing behind you drooling. I hope your Sunday is happy and bright! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Told you yoga is good for you!!!!!!!! I was telling Kat earlier that a LOT of nice men do yoga. That have to be nice….right? Make sure you go on weekends or at nights. 🙏🏻 namaste.

    Liked by 1 person

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