I am leaving to NYC tomorrow. I’ve got a bit of a cold and I know it’s going to be freezing, but I was excited anyway. During the last 10 minutes of work my boss pulled me aside, into her office, and fired me. I thought I was doing better… aparently not. I know I wasn’t great at my job, but I really did try. I am so sad right now. I feel like such a looser. How am I ever going to make it on my own? Am I just destined to be a failure? I don’t know how to do this sh*t. I am so desperately sad and ashamed of myself.
Ever since my divorce I felt like I have been thrown into shark infested waters. Yes, sometimes there are victories, but most days it’s just been about putting one foot in front of the other and getting through the day. I try so hard to be positive. I look for the good in the little things, and I keep a gratitude journal. But facts are facts: I am easy prey. Sometimes I feel so dissolusioned that I don’t even have the desire to keep swimming. People tell me I’m a nice person. Nice doesn’t cut it. Nice is good food for the sharks. Nice is for losers like me. I am tired.