Bye Bye Birdy, Part Two

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It wasn’t until around 4 o’clock that I finally got a reply to my email. To Birdy’s credit, what he wrote was very thoughtful and kind. He wrote that he respected me for valuing myself and said some lovely things. He also wrote that at this time in his life, he is not looking for the same things that I am. I felt bruised and sad. More tears were shed (but that’s just how I roll LOL. I’m a terrible crybaby). I will be okay. It’s not like when I found out that the love of my life for 18 years was F’ing half of England. This is child’s play in comparison. Not everybody is going to be a match, and that is okay. I know this. 

There are two redeeming things that have come out of this. For the first time that I can remember, I have exited a relationship with my dignity intact. First. Time. Ever. I kid you not. There were no hysterics and no begging. That is a big deal for me. Major. It makes me so proud. I handled this like a boss LOL. Second, I am learning that it is okay and necessary for me to have my needs met. I am learning to demand respect.

I am serious when I said I was done being the doormat. Maybe that A-hole who tried to lowball me with that horrible salary did me a favor by making me angry. I feel like something big was set in motion that day. So much repressed anger came to the surface at that moment, and as a result something has changed inside of me. I feel it. I want to channel those feelings into creating something new and good. 

Birdy was not the problem. He was a symptom of a problem. He left as a gentleman, and I respect him for it. I knew my feelings for him were not unfounded. I genuinely think he is a very classy man. He’s just not my man.

I do feel ever so slightly shitty, but I have no doubt that this too shall pass.

Oh hey, you know what I just thought of? I don’t have to shave my legs now LOL!!!! Nobody will know.

17 Comments

  1. I am so glad to read this post. I agree that that boss was a good thing, cause it made you angry and easier for you to see your worth.
    Am also happy that you got what sounded like a kind and honest reply from Birdy.
    Well handled. And best of luck with everything, it can’t really go wrong now that you have this amazing self-respect. Good for you. 😊

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Yessss! Yes! You won’t tolerate crap. It’s one thing to not find a good match but it’s another thing to tolerate having a not good match while with that not-good-match bringing you down. You don’t have to tolerate anyone’s shit. Ever. You got enough in one lifetime.

    I’m sorry it didn’t work with Birdy. And I’m glad he was classy with his response to you. But I’m incredibly proud of you for standing up for yourself. With the job and this “situationship” with Birdy.

    Xoxoxo

    Liked by 2 people

  3. HUGE pluses.
    On so many fronts. You left with your dignity intact, and from what you say Birdie was a very classy gentleman. Not right for you or you for him at the moment, but you didn’t waste your caring on an oxygen thieving low life.
    Hugs as always.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. First of all – you live in Florida, you always have to shave your legs. Come live in Wales and then we’ll talk 😘
    Secondly – I have so much respect for what you have done, it’s so easy to fool yourself into thinking the tiny crumbs from some bodies table will fulfil you. They won’t.
    Thirdly – I wish you wouldn’t say you’re not a ‘catch’ your right your not, you’re a fully emotionally aware individual, you’re intelligent, with so many interests, you are interested AND interesting. You don’t need someone to catch you, you ain’t falling. You need someone to meet you toe to toe, someone who will hold your attention like you hold theirs.
    Preach 🙏🏻

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Just playing WordPress catch-up and am sorry to hear about Birdy. I second what others have said – know your worth, woman!! His feelings are not of any more value than your’s are. Keep reminding yourself of the truth, not what you feel at any given moment. And, for the record, I think other than sounding a little down on yourself in the message to Birdy you were totally in charge of the situation and this WordPress reader is very proud of you!!

    Macaroon (hugs), chica.

    Liked by 1 person

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