First Week of Work, Second Attempt


It was my first week of work (again) at my new job. I guess it’s going pretty well. Sometimes it can be hard to tell. The first day was really nothing like what I thought it would be. Instead of the standard one day of introduction where they tell you how great the company is and go through benefits, we only had about an hour’s worth of discussion with our trainers, and then we were shown to our desk. We were issued booklets to study for something called a 6-20 (Company Adjuster) insurance license. It is dry as fuck, and filled with a bunch of gobbledygook. Nevertheless, I have a licensing test next week, and I desperately want to pass it.

It was also during my first day that I was struck by a mini panic attack. This consisted of me crying in a rather putrid Wendy’s bathroom during my lunch break. I was overwhelmed. I often have these moments where I really doubt myself and my abilities. The truth is, there is only one job I ever felt that I truly excelled at: being a housewife. Now life is about creating something new for myself, something that involves a paycheck. It has been a struggle. Since returning to the US two years ago, this is my 4th job. I am desperate to make a success of this one. The thing is, I have fears. Can I handle it? Am I smart enough? Being fired from job #2 really dented my confidence. Three out of five days this week I went home with a stress headache, but today I’m feeling pretty good… yeah, I got this Martha Falker nailed.

Yes, I have fears aplenty. At first I had planned to write all about them, but I changed my mind. Instead of writing a sonnet to my worries, I am going to tell you the good stuff.

  •  The supply closet is stocked full of goodies… and it is left unlocked. Obviously they do not know me and my love of free stuff.
  •  Nobody pays attention to when you take a break or notices how long you are gone for. Maybe it’s going to bite me in the ass later, but I’m having fun with it while I can. I have never been given this much freedom before, and I like it. I like it a lot.
  •  The people here are lovely. They are easy to chat to, and I am making the effort to be sociable. When I was a housewife, I could go for days without speaking to another soul. I suffered with severe isolation. Now my life is the opposite. Though I still have to push myself, I find interacting with others to be extremely rewarding, and it has done marvels for my self-esteem.
  • As of today, and for the first time since I’ve been back in the US, I have medical insurance. I hate spending money for the sole purpose of waiting for a catastrophe to happen, but in this country, it is a necessity. I enrolled today, and I’m feeling very adult about the whole thing.
  •  And now my lovelies, I am going to tell you the best part: we have two weeks of training in Arizona. I am so super excited about that! If you read my blog regularly, you will know that there are few things I love more than an adventure. Watch this space … if you know me at all, there is going to be a food orgy of epic proportions!
For once, wouldn’t it be cool if I had an orgy of eligible bachelors? Why does it always have to be food? Damn my thunder thighs!

Let the weekend commence!


  1. I think it’s normal to feel afraid in a new job. Lol. I’d be crying in a Wendy’s bathroom too!!! Arizona is wonderful. What a nice perk. Look your job isn’t you. It’s a means to an end. Pretty sure it will be like chewing on straw studying for that test. But you go and rock it girl. Work is work. It’s seldom fulfilling unless you’re extremely lucky. I think most people hate their jobs but love what the pay allows them to do. Forge through it bravely like I know you will. Haha BTW. I hate my job too and I own the freaking business!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. As the queen of crying in the toilet I would say that is perfectly standard! If any of your close galpals had been through what you have been through and then kept striding forward to create a new future for themselves, I’ve no doubt you’d say ‘go easy dude, you got it.’ So go easy dude, you got this. Enjoy your marathon breaks, don’t let the dryness kill your spark, it keeps you in burgers and donuts!!

    Liked by 3 people

  3. You will do great, sure! I really love this new post because I identify myself with two things: I also have fears aplenty and the continuous feeling I’m going to wrong, and it is going to bite in the ass too! It is such amazing to discover I’m not the only one in the universe having these feelings, probably, at the same time more people also wonder about it! hehehe
    Good luck with your test, grrrl! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Enjoy your time in Arizona! If you are in the Phoenix area, there are a ton of nice things to do. I used to work for a company headquartered there and visited a few times a year.

    I read a quote by Richard Branson last week that says, “If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity but you are not sure you can do it, say yes – then learn how to do it later!” Through the years, I’ve found most of my male friends do that and most of my female friends (and me!) think they need to wait until they are sure they can do it. Lots of female opportunity lost, I’m thinking. Relax because you’ve got this, Caroline!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I will be near Phoenix, I’m staying in Scottsdale. Please give me recommendations if you have any. That would be great!
      I loved that quote, very inspiring. More women should live that way. I think often we are governed by our fears.


  5. I so agree we let ourselves be governed by fear – what if, what if, what it can be strangling.

    Scottsdale is nice.  You will see such beautiful sunsets there! And perhaps a monsoon, although I’m not sure when that season ends? Sorry for how slapped together this is but I didn’t want to wait to make it perfect and forget to send it. See, I’m taking my own medicine!?

    Foodie stuff – Knowing some of what you like and, totally feeling the same, here’s my immediate suggestions:

    1.   I think of this as a California style restaurant because everything is fresh and, I believe, organic.  I never ate lunch there, just dinner, and the menus are different.  The dinner choice was eclectic, while still including all things pork.  My favorite was the pork burger with bacon and cheddar!  The wine list is smaller but with good choices and fair prices.  I remember it having weird hours, so check before you go!  

    2.  This is (I believe?) a chef-owned restaurant.  The menu here is a little southern, a little New Orleans, and includes jalapeno-cheddar grits, shrimp po-boys and a lovely ahi tuna salad!  I’m a fan of anyplace that recognizes the beauty of perfectly cooked grits!

    3.  Self-explanatory! This is a fun, popular and casual spot for huge delicious burgers and drinks.    

    Non-foodie stuff: 

    1.    This was Frank Lloyd Wright’s winter home.  It was a little run down when I visited but still excellent if you like the style.  It is just out of town.

    2.   This is the biosphere (always in my mind BioDome) and is a pretty interesting place.  It is a couple of hours outside of the city and we went when we were all in Arizona over the weekend.   We didn’t continue on to Tucson, which is approximately another hour away, but Old Tucson is supposed to be really fun if you have any interest in the “Old West” or old west movies.

    3. Old Scottsdale.  You can have fun just walking around here.  Rehab Burger Therapy is here, so you could eat then walk around window shopping and then stop for another drink and dessert 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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