Riding in cars… with(out) boys

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Let’s not even mention that I’m not an especially good driver!

One week I’m flying high, and the next week I’m in a low. I’m such a moody cow. It was a crazy week at work. Although I like what I do, the workload is just inhuman. On top of that, Birdy was especially silent with me. I got two texts from him this week, and I did not see him this weekend. I shouldn’t let it throw me, but it affects me a lot more than I care to admit. 

I am also very stressed out about the idea of getting a car. I’ve managed to not own one since moving back to America. I know its time to bite the bullet though. My mom and sister help me get around, but it’s not really fair of me to take advantage of their good nature. At some point, I need to take care of my own transportation.  I’m so freaked out by it though. I don’t want a car. I know I should, but actually I’m completely terrified, and that’s why I’ve kept putting it off. I don’t want the responsibility and the financial drain. I can’t decide what to do. Should I buy a used car (which I would pay in full), or lease a new car, which could end up being a huge financial drain (because the insurance on leased cars is very high). What if the used car has problems? What if the leased car gets scratched? Then what would I do? I know I can “what if” this to death, and that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. If any of you out there could give me some advice on this one, I’d really appreciate it. Are any of you leasing or have experience with it? If yes, what are your thoughts?  Would you recommend it? I only ever had one car in my life, many years ago. It was a used Toyota Camry which was paid in full. I did love that car. I think I’d want another Camry.

Why would a decision like this freak me out the way it does? Shouldn’t I be excited? Wouldn’t being able to go wherever I want whenever I want be wonderful? Imagine all the new freedom I’d have, right?  But the truth is, I know exactly why I find this process so frightening: it’s because the decisions I make are now all my own. The consequences of my choices will all fall on me, and I have no safety net. Nobody is going to help me if/when I run into problems. That makes me so sad. How I wish I had someone in my life who would hold my hand and guide me … but I don’t. So this whole idea of buying a car makes me feel incredibly lonely and fearful. 

Oh, and I got a marriage proposal this morning. I fuck with you not! Alas, I don’t think it was very sincere.

11 Comments

  1. I have no experience with leasing a car. I had a friend who lived from one car lease to the next. When she was bored with her vehicle she simply traded it in for a new lease. Problem is, you’re throwing money at it every month without any ownership at the end of the financial drain. Plus, you’re still paying for maintenance costs. So, that said I think it makes more financial sense to buy a used vehicle in good shape. Always test drive before buying but take someone with you. Would your mom or a friend go with you when you test drive? Also, why does this have to be done alone? Yes, it’s your decision but that doesn’t mean a friend can’t help you out and be there with you.
    Love the title of the post, Caroline! That was a great movie. We don’t need to ride with boys 😉 Good luck. You got this.

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  2. I have no experience with leasing a car. I had a friend who lived from one car lease to the next. When she was bored with her vehicle she simply traded it in for a new lease. Problem is, you’re throwing money at it every month without any ownership at the end of the financial drain. Plus, you’re still paying for maintenance costs. So, that said I think it makes more financial sense to buy a used vehicle in good shape. Always test drive before buying but take someone with you. Would your mom or a friend go with you when you test drive? Also, why does this have to be done alone? Yes, it’s your decision but that doesn’t mean a friend can’t help you out and be there with you.
    Love the title of the post, Caroline! That was a great movie. We don’t need to ride with boys 😉 Good luck. You got this.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I vote for a nice, loyal used Toyota Camry. Ask a friend for the name of a trusted car mechanic, and have the mechanic look at it before you buy it. I think Toyotas are pretty reliable though. I’ve learned from getting to know you, a lot of things freak you out. Embrace it, don’t question it. It’s how you gauge how important a decision it is to you. That’s okay. Buying a car is a big deal, especially since you haven’t purchased many cars and you don’t drive a lot. It sounds like some freedom for you, to me. Go for it! We’ll drive it out to the Keys when I’m there. 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  4. According to the experts, leasing is never a wise financial option. In this country, when you buy a used car, depending on the age, it often comes with a partial warranty (or full, if it doesn’t have a lot of miles on it). Get a CarFax report (it will give you the entire history of the car — including number of owners, maintenance done, accidents it has been in, etc), have it checked out by a mechanic you trust and then put away the extra money you would have spent on insurance so that you have a car repair/maintenance fund. Make sure to get your preventative maintenance (oil changes, fluid top offs, tire rotation) done on schedule.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. After much deliberation I got my car from a dealership, taking advantage of the dealership loan rates. My car was three years old, turned in from a lease so it had low mileage, and had a couple of years left of the full service maintenance coverage. I looked at leasing and liked the idea a lot. The only reason I didn’t do it is because of the mileage limitations – it was like max 12,000 a year without penalty, I think.

    Liked by 1 person

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