This is why I’m Single


Dating is so crap sometimes. Before it even gets to arranging to meet someone, you have to chat. And I’ve chatted with so many douchebags, that I literally have the urge to sew up my vagina sometimes. My list of deleted numbers resembles something of a telephone directory. So many men give so little and expect so much. Plus they have the attention span of a handful of peanuts. One day they are texting you sweet and silly words, the next day they have forgotten you exist. I KNOW I deserve more than that shit. And there is no fucking way I’m going to accept it. I’d definitely rather be alone … except I don’t reaaaaaly want to be alone. I want to share my life with someone wonderful and worthy. Sometimes I get so disheartened. Is there a guy out there who is right for me? Am I just too strange? I know I’m kind of niche— I’m not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. I figure I’m more of a matcha latte. Honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love who I am and who I’m becoming. I’d just really like to “become” with an amazing man by my side.

There was this lawyer I went on a date with. He made a big freaking deal about me not being able to use chopsticks. A huge deal. I have only had sushi a few times in my life, so perhaps I do look kinda silly trying to utilize them, but why did he have such a strong desire to try to embarrass me? What ever happened to being a gentleman? Do you know why I don’t eat sushi much? I DONT LIKE IT. I put my likes aside to spend time with someone, and enjoy something THEY like, and I am rewarded with ridicule. Not friendly ridicule, but a purposely nasty kind of disdain. Nice, huh? Total troglodyte!

Here is a snippet of conversation I had with with another fucktard. Clearly he had only one intention in mind in trying to meet me:

Screen Shot 2019-01-25 at 4.36.43 PM.png

These are not uneducated men: a doctor and a lawyer. What they have in common is a lack of empathy, and an extreme sense of entitlement. Chivalry isn’t dead, it’s more likely to have been murdered and then drowned in its own tears. Common decency and respect is just sooooo over and outdated.

Tonight I’m having my second date with a man I shall call Derwood. Derwood is hot! He has the sexiest arms ever. Ever. He is quite charming in a strange sort of way, and I am wickedly attracted to him … but … well, he seems a tad dumb, if I’m honest, juvenile. Plus, like most men, his interest in me seems mostly sexual. I want to be with a man who seems to really want to get to know me, a man I can respect and look up to. I had so much fun making out with Derwood in his car at the end of date number one, that I made an exception, however. I ended up breaking my no kissing on a first date rule for him. So despite acknowledging that this probably has no potential, I am really looking  forward to seeing him tonight … but then I found out the movie he chose for us to watch is practically a kids movie *sigh.* No, I’m pretty sure Derwood is not “the one.”

And this is the general trend in my love life, my dear readers. I do believe the man I’m looking for is out there somewhere. I wish he would stop hiding. I’ve kissed enough frogs. I want something good and real… and soon!



      1. Can I tell you that my latest love of my life is Instacart? Publix, total wine, Costco… I mean… at least if you can’t have a gentleman, you can at least have wine and food brought to your door! Lol
        Sorry to be so off topic but I seriously love it. Lmao

        Liked by 1 person

  1. IMHO, the higher the success and education, the higher the ego and entitlement and, often, the lower the social skills. I know that’s not 100% true, but … let’s just say I know a lot of docs. And the statistics with docs and other high-achieving men and sex addiction are, well – OY VEY.

    How are you meeting these guys? Dating sites? Of course that’s popular and common (and many of the women and men are looking for sex), but a thought to ponder… some of my friends met their mates through “getting out in the real world” doing what they love. Examples: volunteering for events with a dog rescue group, met at church, met at a yoga retreat, art class or gallery, dog park, etc. Whatever floats your boat. Wine tasting event? Gourmet food class? Exotic/classic car show? Group biking events, architectural tours, music events…

    I’m having (sort of) the same problem, but I’m not looking for a man (I’m married and my husband and I are in recovery). I relocated from another state in 2016 and I’d like to meet some *quality* gal-pals. It takes time, and since I was so traumatized, I didn’t reach out to others right away. I moved when I was 30, went back for my Master’s and starting meeting all kinds of interesting people. It was awesome! Much more of a challenge at age 51.

    Good luck to you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes I was married to a doctor, who was, shall we say: “problematic.” I would definitely like to meet an educated and successful man, but I am finding a lot of them are so incredibly full of themselves. At the same time, I’d rather be alone than lower my standards.
      I do tend to meet men online only, which is definitely not ideal. In real life I’m quite quiet and shy and have trouble meeting men. Online is so much easier. It has a lot of draw backs of course and it’s highly non organic, which stinks.
      What state do you live in?
      Thanks for the comment, it’s so lovely to hear from someone new ☺️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome!

        I’m still married to a doc. He’s not working (hasn’t for the past 3 years) due to a serious life crisis. Anyhow, I live in western NY state, not far from Canada. I found your blog b/c I read Kat’s blog. 😉

        A therapist suggested for me since I am new to this area. I wasn’t ready at the time to be around new people. It’s a great option, though, IMHO. Anything and everything on there – – – women meeting up for an art gallery tour, dog-lovers meeting up to have canine playtime, wine tastings, hikes, meditation group events, etc.! It’s a way to meet people and not go on “dates” right off the bat. It’s for friendship and fun, but I think there are also groups where singles meet at different locations doing activities. Less pressure?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Kat and I are really good friends ☺️ we met through blogging.
        I’ve always wanted to do a meetup… and then I kind of chicken out, but I agree, it’s a great concept.
        It’s interesting how it’s so easy to meet men for dating, but it’s so hard to make good female friends, which can be a much greater gift.
        I live in South Florida… if u are ever down this way, u must say hi! 😘

        Liked by 1 person

  2. This is the same problem women has had for all ages. You are the ones who choose – not us men. And each and single time, women choose men after looks, social status, money, sucess, etc. NEVER after personality and how they treat you. If a man you concidered ugly, was unemployed, overweight etc would show interest in you, you would discard him right from the start – regardless of how big his heart was or how sweet he was. You would go after the next man who had looks, status, money, etc. And since these men has so many choices themsalves, you end up being dissapointed and decide that “all men are douchebags”. Even heavy, violent criminals get girlfriends all the time and tons of love letters to prison from women all over the world, since women has always had an interest in dangerous men as well. But the nice ones, who doesn´t have the right looks, clothes, jobs, etc, never even get a chance. No mather how many “doucebags” you think you have met or actually have met, it is literally nothing compared to the women i´ve met in my life. Who has only set my up for humiliation each time, just for the mere spite it it. Even at school, most of my bullies were female. The most awful guys you could find, were the very first to get girlfriends. I was raised to treat everyone as i want to be treated. Especially treating women with respect. Yet, i have not one single positive experience from a woman throughout my life. I am fully aware there would be better ones out there. But still to this day, that´s all i´ve ever seen. I wish women would stop taking sides for other women, regardless of their moral and actions. Since evil exists in so many people – regardless of gender, etnicity, age and everything else. The world is full of people who are just born bad from the start. And women are no better at all. If you truly believe that, it just says a lot about yourself.


    1. I respect your opinion. I am allowed to want to feel attracted to my partner. I have gone out with men who I wasn’t attracted to and that never worked well except for friendship, because I don’t want to take things to the next level. At the same time, just because a man is handsome, doesn’t mean I’m going to let them walk all over me because of their feelings of entitlement. I want a man I’m not only somewhat attracted to, but someone with a good and kind heart. I won’t settle. If I can’t have this, I am just going to learn to be okay on my own.


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