Well, it didn’t work out with Prince. Did you foresee that one my lovelies? It ended about a month ago. The red flags were bountiful, but starving hearts eat lies when they are hungry. Such was the case with little piggy Caroline. I won’t go though the litany of details, because quite frankly I’m ashamed of myself for not leaving much earlier like any normal person would have. To summarize, even though it started off beautifully, there ended up being loads of drama and tons of lies. At the end, our relationship really started to feel awful. It was time to walk away. Suffice it to say, I’m back where I started, which I guess wasn’t anywhere that horrible to begin with. It is lonely at times, sure, but I’ve learned how to cope with that.
Shortly following the breakup, I was feeling kinda low. Prince became a big part of my life. We would spend loads of time together, and now there was just empty space. I felt hollow and sad. It was time to lift my vibration. That’s Law of Attraction speak for “getting my groove back.” So how did I attempt to do that?
Eating good food. When in a relationship I tend to eat more, and not necessarily healthy stuff. I just don’t feel good about myself when I start putting on weight on. My clothes get tight and uncomfortable, and I don’t feel pretty. It kind of puts a buzz kill on everything for me. For better or for worse, my walks that ended at the Italian bakery for the cheesecake I loved so much are a thing of the past. For the time being, I’m saying no to stuff that isn’t good for me (well, Monday though Friday at least). I’m focusing on eating better quality, natural foods, and I’ve reduced my consumption of Diet Coke. The weight loss is slow going, but then again, it always is. It’s about staying focused and committed and not giving up. I’m going to NYC again in a few days, so that’s not going to help, but whateva. Slim thighs may just have to wait just a bit longer.
Consuming happy thoughts. What you put in your head is just as important as what you put into your body — if not more. When a relationship ends, it’s not uncommon for your partner to insult you, and unfortunately, sometimes those insults stick and burn ugly holes inside you. Alright, so maybe watching episode after episode of the Marvelous Mrs Maisel and Fleabag (on Amazon Prime) aren’t going to enrich me exactly, but they were welcome distractions when I needed them, funny and entertaining. It doesn’t always have to be educational. Sometimes feeling good is enough. And if you aren’t at the point where you are ready to feel good, amusingly distracted is okay too. It’s certainly a step in the right direction. Never be annoyed with yourself for not being able to jump from point A to point B on the emotional spectrum at the snap of a finger. It just doesn’t work that way. Baby steps are quite alright.
Moving: I hate exercise. Abhor it. It’s been months (maybe more like year) since I set foot in the gym, and that wasn’t about to change. I do walk loads though and set myself a lofty Fitbit goal. Things slipped. I’m now back on track and feeling better about myself. Getting outside, fresh air, the sun on my skin, it does wonders. Another active thing I like to do? I blast some kick ass music on my headphones and dance in my underwear. Don’t ask LOL. All I can tell you is that this ritual of mine feels super uplifting. Instant happiness.
Being social. I’m an introvert so this doesn’t come easy, but I’ve been putting myself out there. When you feel low, the last thing you want to do is be friendly, but it works a certain sort of magic. I talk about my feelings to whoever will listen. I talk extremely openly, because by being so honest, it opens the door for others to be honest in return. And I smile. And people smile back, and I can’t tell you why exactly, but there is something very reassuring when someone you don’t really know returns your smile. It’s like a secret code of good will and positive energy.
Looking to the future with happy expectation. I thought after Prince I probably would just give up on the whole dating thing. No. I won’t. I believe that love is out there. Maybe it doesn’t come wrapped in the pretty ribbon I had imagined, but I still believe that the Universe has my back. Sometimes people leave our lives for the simple fact that they aren’t meant to stay. That is okay. What’s mine will find me. But looking to the future isn’t just about romance, it’s also about planning things I can look forward to. For example, I love stand up comedy. I’ve been lucky enough to see Joan Rivers preform (right before she died), and also Chris Rock. Now I’m going to see Jim Gaffigan. It’s not till December, but I’m super excited about it. As always, I will continue plan little getaways and restaurant dates (even if those dates are by myself). I love my little adventures.
I recently did hear from Prince. His father passed away from cancer. I was very sad to hear the news, as his dad was a lovely man. This post is not about dragging Prince through the mud. Sometimes two people are just not a match, and trying to hammer a square peg into a round hole is just painful and futile. I feel that such was the case with us. He may be a prince, but he isn’t MY prince. We shared some very happy times together that I will treasure in my memories. There are no hard feelings, I send him my love and good wishes.