Hurricane Irma passed us, and I am happy to say, that despite what it looks like on the news, and aside from some fallen trees, we are unscathed. In fact, here where I live, we did not experience one power outage. My biggest complaint about Irma was that I was completely and utterly bored. I tried to fill the time by filling myself up with little brain goodies (and belly goodies too LOL, there goes my awesome weight loss progress).

What are brain goodies you ask? Things that make me feel good on the inside, happy and empowering quotes and pictures, uplifting stuff on YouTube, cheerful songs, and I downloaded Gabrielle Bernstien’s Spirit Junkies on Audible. Going to listen to that after I finish this post. I am a hippie at heart. So maybe it does sound a little flaky fairy when I tell you I’m working on raising my vibration, but that’s exactly what I’m doing.

Below I have made a collage of just a few of my little brain goodies. It’s stuff I collected on Instagram and Pinterest. Just little snippets that I browse when I need a little pick me up. Chocolate cake works too.

Click any image to enlarge.

dt1hsfiwy0rvdkx6tmpmvzfoyvd4amiymhrisghotg5obgnuwmxjatvzwvc0dmjxrnbiqzlqykdsbgjuuxzhvzuwwlhkdvlxd3zzwfiwwvdob2jxvnvkqzlryjnkdwjhowhaqzkwwvhsme1godnmuzb0zecxagfurtbpvgxptldnnu16azfomle0wmpnn2futmxjm05w

I’m back from NYC. Somebody please remind me to stop booking holidays in the dead of winter. I freaking hate the cold! If you are going to brave the tundra,  a word of advice: $3 gloves from Target are NOT going to cut it. Why must I learn everything the hard way? Damn it!

Screen Shot 2017-01-14 at 1.38.51 PM.png

On day one, my first stop was to get one of my favorite NYC treats, something I’ve talked about on my blog time and time again: the divine morsel known as the chocolate chip and walnut cookie from Levain. I walked 20 min in the snow for this thing. It was worth it.

Following that, I had a browse around the Met Breuer, and I walked up and down Madison Avenue where all the luxury boutiques are. I can’t really afford to buy anything there, but I do enjoy a bit of window shopping. This penniless extravaganza culminated at Barney’s — just another in the line of many stores I went to where normal people can’t buy stuff. This is where I treated myself to a delicious robiola and truffle “pizza” and met a very unusual woman who started a random conversation with me. To say she was odd, would be an understatement. She had a giant feather in her fluffy white/blonde hair. She claimed to be Danish royalty (not like I asked LOL). For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out if she was on crack or she really was some brain addled royal–only in New York! I love it!

Day two was all about hunting Invader’s Space Invaders in downtown NYC- it’s street art of a very interactive sort. I’m sure most of you won’t be familiar with it, but it’s kind of like Pokemon Go, except these pixelated mosaics scattered through the city really do exist. When you find them, you snap a picture, and you get points. So, not to intimidate you guys, but I am the 3,169th best Invader hunter in the world according to the app. I have the frost bitten fingers to show for it.  During this trip I found a total of 10. And guess what my lovelies?!?! I just read that Invader is going to be doing an exhibit in Paris soon. I am so tempted to book a ticket. I happen to have 36 vacation hours stored away at the moment, and I desperately want to revisit what I think is one of the most amazing cities in the world, so watch this space. Adventure calls! Anyone up for it?

Aside from the above beauties (you can click on the image for a larger version), I also found some other cool street art. Here are some of my favorite pictures:

All the walking I did that day was fueled by the most gloriously ginormous wedge of French toast at the Landmarc. At $26 for tea and toast, it’s not exactly a cheap eat, but this is a Caroline must! And trust me, when it comes to food, I’ll never steer you wrong. Don’t come to NYC without putting one of these in your belly. And that leads me to my next cold weather tip: don’t be afraid to blubber up.
dt1hsfiwy0rvdkx6tmpmvzfoyvd4amiymhrisghotg5obgnuwmxjatvzwvc0dmjxrnbiqzlqykdsbgjuuxzhvzuwwlhkdvlxd3zzwfiwwvdob2jxvnvkqzlryjnkdwjhowhaqzkwwvhsme1gohhmuzb0zecxagfurtbpvgxpt0rgbu16vtjpreu1turzn2futmxjm05w

So day two was spent downtown. I explored Soho a bit, snapped street art, ate some good food, and I totally wore myself out. By the end of the day I was absolutely exhausted.

Day three, however, was all about pampering myself. Really, that is the main reason I wanted to go to New York in the first place. Life had been wearing me down. I was nursing my wounds about Birdy ending things with me. Actually, I’m still sad about.  Not a day goes by that I don’t think about him and miss his company. Instead of time making things better, it actually feels worse now. NYC was supposed to be a “pick me up.” I had my yearly hair cut, this time at Oscar Blandi — and I have to say, my stylist (her name was Ingrid) did a really awesome job.  A week later and I’m still admiring it. I had a gorgeous meal at Benoit, and then I went on to browse my favorite 5th Avenue shops: Henri Bendel and Bergdorf Goodman. I made a nuisance of myself  at the cosmetics counter and sampled all the fab new perfumes. That’s always fun for me.

The most special part of that day, however, was my visit to Tiffnay & Co. You see, there was this necklace

Screen Shot 2017-01-21 at 2.32.03 PM.png
And while I didn’t get breakfast at Tiffany’s, I was served some lovely green tea on a bitterly cold day. 

I planned to buy it for by birthday, but then I decided why wait? Wouldn’t it be more special to buy it at Audrey Hepburn’s Tiffany? Um … yes. It would. This necklace has a significance to me. It’s a gift from me to me. It’s a reminder that even if no one else recognizes my worth, I do. It is a reminder that I am deserving and good, no matter anyone’s opinion.  I am tired of waiting for a man to treat me well. I’m going to do it myself where and when I can. Life is too fucking short for anything else.

the-dream
Henri Rousseau’s The Dream at the MoMA. It almost made me cry.

Day four was spent in my favorite NYC museum: the MoMA, where I got to feast on eyes on the most beautiful treasures from Rousseau to Van Gogh, and there were plenty of Andy Warhols thrown in for good measure. I don’t know about you guys,  but for me, food feeds my belly and art feeds my soul. This is the kind of stuff I live for.

My final day was a quiet one. I went to my favorite NYC happy place: Murray’s bagels, and filled my belly with my quintessential NYC eat:

screen-shot-2017-01-21-at-2-08-32-pm

This was followed by a peaceful morning at  the Strand bookstore, before making my way to the airport (where I was practically molested as I was going through security by the way).
… and that’s it dollies. There’s so much more to show you. If you want to check it out, come visit me over on Instagram. I took plenty of pictures.

c840bd2ef791fe20666a835ba2fd0073
And don’t tell me I’m loosing touch with reality. I might fall off my unicorn.

You might find today’s post is completely left field, but I can’t help it. I was never a cool kid. I was a closet goth and a nerd. I wouldn’t want it any other way. Being popular is a bore. Long live the weirdoes and the outcasts! We are the artists and the magic makers :). As a self appointed weirdo, my interests can border on the bizarre. But one really fab thing about having your own blog is you don’t need to apologize to anyone for your weirdness. You can revel in it. So on today’s weird and wonderful topic…

I was listening to something on YouTube that changed the way I think about the English language. Did you know that in English, the word “grammar” comes from the word “grimoire” which is a book of spells? I can’t explain why exactly, but this completely blows my mind. I always knew that words had magic, but up until this point, I didn’t really realize to what extent. As someone who likes to write, and someone who majored in literature, I feel like I understand the power of words more than most people… but wow! Words really DO have magic. And isn’t it interesting that as children we go to grammar school to learn how to “spell”? Is that not crazy?!? So, this means when we spell words, we create magic. We are conjuring thoughts into existence. Does that not make you want to pick up a pen and start writing?

Back in the day reading and writing was shrouded in mystery. Only a few knew how. To the superstitious masses, books contained things that they knew nothing about, and knowledge was something that frightened them. A lot has changed, but a lot has also stayed the same. We are living in a culture where, even though we pretend to stress education, we are dumbing ourselves down at the most alarming rate. Instead of delving into the magic of words, we are sidetracked by celebrity and glamour.

And speaking of that, can you guess what other word comes from  the word “grimoire”? Glamour! In the olden days it meant “enchantment” (and not in a good way). Before the 1800s, it meant using occult practices to bewitch someone. Kind of makes you think, no?

Here’s another good one: one of the most elementary spells for magic  is “abracadabra.” It comes from Hebrew and it means, “I create what I speak.”

I don’t know exactly what my point is, I just find this topic exceedingly interesting. Magic or not, I know for sure that words have tremendous power. They aren’t just sounds. They create and destroy. Use them wisely.

Words – so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them. –Nathaniel Hawthorne

Currently I am reading a book called 100 Days of Happiness by Fausto Brizzi. It is a fascinating work of fiction about a man who finds out he has terminal cancer (ironic, huh?). The doctor tells him he has about 100 days to live. In those hundred days, he solidifies what is important to him, and there are some places in the book where he gives the reader tips on how to find out what is important to them too.

In one scene, he goes to a restaurant. On the wall, which was divided into two by a line, there was a place for patrons to write “Things I love” and “Things I hate.” Lucio, the guy dying from cancer, invites the reader to do the same. I thought I’d take him up on it. I decided to write only things I love. So here goes:

  1. Me (and why shouldn’t a person be on the top of their own list?) 
  2. My dear friends: they are few but mighty 🙂
  3. My family
  4. Finding pennies on the ground in random places (I save them in a special place, and I think of them as good luck).
  5. People who want to see others succeed– life is not a competition, we are all in this together. Nobody gets out alive, so let’s help each other!
  6. Museums
  7. A great book: I especially like the naughty bits LOL
  8. Frida Kahlo, my soul sister with a unibrow to match my own
  9. Pablo Neruda: a poet who may be the most romantic man who ever lived.
  10. Dita Von Teese’s unabashed but classy sexinessc23b39a5e5382caf4064c6dbfd0d41e2.jpg
  11. Kindness
  12. Dressing up and going somewhere fun
  13. The feel of the sun on my skin
  14. My Stella McCartney sneakers
  15. The color green
  16. Unexpected text messages
  17. That moment when you are at a restaurant and the food arrives to the table.
  18. The anticipation of an adventure
  19. Chocolate dipped coconut macaroons 
  20. Wynwood
  21. Reconnecting with people from the past (people I like LOL)
  22. The lessons my dad taught me. My favorite one is to smile even when you are scared, nervous, or uncomfortable. It throws people off.
  23. The smell of garden tomatoes
  24. Day dreaming
  25. The beach at night
  26. Hand written letters
  27. Music that make me feel empowered
  28. Ted Talks
  29. Making someone smile
  30. Delusions of grandeur… they are fun.
  31. The chocolate chip cookie at Levain
  32. Truly good bread and butter
  33. The romance of Paris, so thick you could cut it with a knife.
  34. Invader
  35. Stand up comedy
  36. Murrays Bagels in NYC
  37. Accomplishing something I wasn’t sure that I could do
  38. The scent of lilacs
  39. Baby slothsa4cd17c7b17fa0670146baa4e77c246b
  40. Cherry blossom trees in bloom
  41. Samosa chaat at a place called Shahanshah in Southall (UK). Its a tiny little hole in the wall that serves the best samosas I ever tasted.
  42. Chatty people
  43. Bubble baths
  44. Browsing in bookstores
  45. Diane Von Furstenburg dresses
  46. Having the house all to myself
  47. That feeling you get when you can tell that someone you adore loves you too
  48. Pancakes at the Wolseley in London
  49. The ceremony of a proper afternoon tea
  50. Documentaries about outer space. I can’t put my finger on why, but I find them very comforting.
  51. Baking something that makes other people happy
  52. Feeling proud of myself
  53. My iPhone
  54. Santa Maria Novella’s Rose Water
  55. Feeling confident 
  56. Unapologetic women9107e60d712e444c3cb62f5bb5c95d95
  57. Learning something new
  58. Open-mindedness
  59. That brief moment when you are sitting in the movie theater and the lights dim
  60. Good hair days
  61. Hot pretzels at the mall
  62. John Galiano’s designs during his Dior days
  63. Clear nights when you can see the stars
  64. What it feels like to be on a motorcycle 
  65. Fairy tales
  66. Optimism
  67. Cartman from South Park
  68. Lightbulb moments of inspiration
  69. Laughter that comes from the heart
  70. Kisses in the park
  71. The few people in life who allow you to be truly yourself
  72. Being healthy (though not necessarily eating healthy LOL)
  73. Good news
  74. Martha Stewart
  75. When things are done to a high standard
  76. Pinterest
  77. Being brave enough to take a risk
  78. Mr Mugatu from Zoolander
  79. YouTube
  80. The people who help you clean up a mess when everyone else has gone.
  81. Holding hands with someone I really care for.
  82. Hearing or saying “I love you”
  83. Comfy fat pants to lounge around the house in … the uglier they are, the more I like them.
  84. Red toenails
  85. When a stranger smiles at you and you smile back
  86. Movies and music from the 80’s

    3de0128ad87a95a1ac5194b8ecd26da3
    From my favorite 80s movie: Some Kind of Wonderful
  87. When someone tells me they miss me
  88. Guys who smell good
  89. Old fashioned glamour
  90. Perfume and the art of perfumery
  91. Naps in the middle of the day
  92. Keeping a journal and reading through it later on. I like to see how far I’ve come.
  93. Buying little gifts for people I love
  94. Being barefoot (but not pregnant)
  95. Laughter in the midst of difficulties
  96. Bollywood, it’s an acquired taste.
  97. Botox followed by burgers
  98. That feeling you get when you know you did a good job at the gym
  99. Getting and giving compliments
  100. Love

And really, there are soooooo many more. This is such a good exercize my lovelies. I urge you to do the same on your blog. I dare you to do it and not crack a smile. Life is short. My friend T is such a perfect example of that. And yeah, it’s not always all pearls and roses, but F that! Let’s make this journey as fun and good as we can. Tell me, what are some things that you love?

 

 

Yesterday I was given The Sunshine Blogger Award from the very lovely Eliza over at SurvivedNarc. I love these blogger awards because it kind of a great way of breaking out of your routine and letting people get to know you better. Anyway, I just want to thank her for thinking of me and doing me this honor *kisses daaaahling* I love you too!

Without further ado, here are her questions, and my answers to them:

1. What do you think Earth and its people will be like in 1000 years? (If humans still exist then). Describe freely from your imagination.

I do think humans will still exist, but it makes me sad to say I don’t think its going to be a pretty picture. I hope I am wrong. It’s just that I feel that people are moving away from things that matter, like compassion and education, and are becoming increasingly self important and ignorant. Image is become everything and “soul” is becoming very secondary. I don’t want to imagine a world where a person has to go to a museum to remember what a real woman once looked like.

2. What is your favorite book (why)?

As a literature major, I do a lot of reading. I continue to read lots and have come across some really amazing reads. This year, I have challenged myself to read 20 books. My favorite has been my favorite for many years though: Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden. I don’t know what it is, but there are some books that have the power to suck me in, like I am living it. I always had a fascination with Japan and it’s culture, but this book solidified it for me. Not to mention that I think the story is expertly told and has a great tenderness to it.

Sayuri4ChairmanAndSayuri

3. What is your favorite place for beautiful scenery (why)?

One of the most visually beautiful memories I have was when I spent a year in Wales in the UK. Wales is as boring as can be, in my opinion, but it has great scenery. There is loads of natural beauty there: rolling hills, clear night skies (it is the only place I ever saw a shooting star), I would even see deer from my window. They would come up so close … but I have this one memory… One day I was taking a walk. It was spring time. The cherry blossoms trees were in bloom. The ground was littered with pink petals but the trees were still full with flowers. Then a wind blew and all these gorgeous petals started to fall on me like rain. It was magical. It was like I was in a movie. It is a moment that will be etched in my head till I die.

4. If you could change one thing in your past, would you? (what).

No, I wouldn’t change anything. This is my story. Every decision I’ve made has lead me where I am today. Though sometimes I feel unhappy, I think my story has a unique beauty to it.

5. What is your favorite movie or TV series (why)?

My favorite movie? I have two. First is Gone With The Wind. Scarlett O’Hara is my favorite fictional character. Vivien Liegh, to me, is one of the most visually stunning woman to ever live. Watching her as the powerful but petulant Scarlett thrilled me. I loved Rhett too. What a pair! It’s one of the few movies I’ve watched several times.

The second is a French film called Amelie. I adore Amelie. She is whimsical and sweet. She lives in her own mind, kind of like me. That movie is pure charm and deliciousness. Watch it. It will do something to your heart.

fdc04bbb4839c62dd9b51bf4a55e3ed8

As for TV series, my favorite TV series ever was The Sopranos. Sex and the City is a close second.

6. If you could choose any profession, what would it be?

I’d want to be the muse of a great artist, or I would be a fashion designer. Maybe both. I see no conflict.

7. What does blogging mean to you, personally?

Blogging is so many things to me. It is my art. It is my creative outlet. It is my way to reach out to other human beings out there in cyberspace. It is a way that I make friends. It is a way that I tell my story freely, without fear of judgement.

8. Do you still have an “old love” you can’t forget? (Do tell, only if you want to!)

I do have one, though I’d like to be able to forget him. He used to call me his mermaid. I will never forget our first kiss. I have never had a kiss like that before or after. It was a little kiss, but it shattered me. I actually felt a wave of electricity run through me. It was the most incredible kiss of my life.

John_William_Waterhouse_-_Mermaid

9. How do you think the universe will end, and what will happen after that?

I think the universe will end in a bang, just like how it began. I am afraid to think of what happens next.

10.What famous person would you choose for a cell mate, if you were going to prison?

Oh this is easy: Martha Stewart. First of all, she already knows how to roll with the homies. Second, I know I’d be living in the most awesome cell in the prison. I’d probably have a lovely homemade quilt and plenty of herbal tea and all the “good things” prison could offer. Plus I’d learn so much. I love her. Yeah, she went through some shit, but she is human. She came out of it with her head held high, and her crown never askew. She is dignified and unapologetic. Some people like to hate because she is a wildly successful woman who doesn’t feel the need to make herself small to please others. Those people suck. In fact, I’d say I might go to jail for a teeny bit just to hang out with her if that was an option.

Okay so I am not going to follow the rules and nominate 10 people to answer my questions because I know some people don’t like doing these things (I do, if the questions are interesting), and also because I think I have only like five readers LOL– that’s okay, because I have the five best readers in cyberspace.

New Orleans tomorrow!!!! Stay tuned!!!! OMG I am so excited!!!

Miss-Havisham-great-expectations-2012-32915607-1280-839
No cake in my house shall ever go to waste, so long as I have breath in my body.

Sometimes I worry like I’m going to end up like Miss Havisham. Do you remember her? She a pivotal character in Charles Dickens’ Great Expectations. An eccentric to say the least. Well in case you haven’t read the book, as a young woman, she fell in love with a man, and was left at the altar on her wedding day. On that fateful moment, she stops all the clocks in her sprawling mansion, and her heart turns to stone. It becomes the defining moment of her life, and she never recovers from the trauma. Filled with rage, sadness, shock, and embarrassment, she becomes a mad and bitter recluse. The towering wedding cake is left to decompose in it’s gigantic rotting splendor, and till the day she dies,  Miss Havisham never takes off her yellowing wedding dress or removes the dead bridal flowers that decorate her hair. In that fateful moment, she begins her descent into deeply broken, possibly insane woman, overcome with bitterness.

I have moments where I think I’m becoming her. Why?

For starters, I am most definitely becoming an eccentric (though I have to say, I like it).

I was also once asked for my hand in marriage only to be dismissed and forgotten. It hurt like hell.

Sometimes I feel this bitterness growing inside of me. I have moments when I feel so angry.  I try to ignore it, but there are days when I can feel that seed growing. That seed is comprised of hurt and fear. I see so many women in my situation who have really become sour. I desperately do not want to become that sort of person … but oh how easy it is for that brave face to slip on a bad day.

Happily, with the passing of time, I realize that Miss H and I are not the same at all. I am becoming stronger. I’m growing into the woman I’m supposed to be. That makes me feel proud. No, I won’t become the next Miss Havisham. Why?

Well let’s get one thing straight, there would NEVER be a rotting wedding cake in my house. I’d surely have eaten the whole thing all by myself… just for spite (and tastiness). As I wouldn’t be getting married, it’s totally okay if I got fat. Besides, I love cake. I’m pretty sure my cake would be custom made mille crepes monolith from Lady M in NYC. Have you ever tasted it? Deviiiiiiine. Surely I couldn’t let all that deliciousness go to waste. Those cakes are f’ing expensive! Heartbroken? Yes. Crazy enough not to eat yummy overpriced cake? Hell no, that’s what I live for dont’cha know! That’s why God invented elasticated sweat pants.

d59443ee171e01e49f68683362b8b2fc
Who needs a thigh gap when you can have this?

I wouldn’t wear my wedding gown forever. I have to admit, when I first got dumped, I wouldn’t change my clothes for days and days. Maybe I shouldn’t admit this, but I am not a pretty crier. No sweet little tears. No indeed. Truth be told there there was plenty of snot too. It would get all over my clothes. I wore it like a kind of badge of honor. But eventually, it had to be changed. I couldn’t stand my own self after a while. I was getting kinda crusty.

Another difference is that I don’t actually WANT to wallow in my misery and aloneness.  Miss Havisham made it her art form and her life’s work. I force myself to meet new people and to do things that enrich me. There are times when that it is a real effort. They say that “happiness is a choice.” From the bottom of my heart, I want to experience what it feels like to be truly happy. I am working on it, but it surprisingly hard to do despite how simple it sounds. It involves changing the way you think. It is about being vigilant with yourself when you know you are slipping.  I am a work in progress.

I could never stay home all day. My little excursions are what I live for. I love going on trips to the museum, trying a cool new restaurant, or a new experience. I’ve had a lot of new experiences lately (but a lady never tells LOL). Well sometimes she does, but maybe I’ll save that for another post.

Cem99q7WQAA-au7
Speaking of fun excursions, I am soooo super excited about an upcoming adventure with a very dear friend. Moi is going to New Orleans!!! I’m going to teach the locals how to  inhale beignets like a boss. Watch this space. Shenanigans are a’comming! Feelings… pah. Time to brush that shit off, walk outside, and live.

 

maxresdefault

Has it ever occurred to you how ridiculously difficult it is to be female?  Why do we pluck, bleach, dye, shave, and wax hairs? Why do we wear heels that contort our feet into positions which are not only torturous but also unhealthy for the human body? Why do we straighten our hair with irons and treat it with chemicals? Why do some of us inject poison into our bodies and use mild acids on our skin? Why? Because God forbid we wrinkle (after all, we all know the worst thing a woman can do is get old …  or fat)!   I am guilty of many of these things. There is no reason to be coy. I’m guessing you are too, because if you are reading my blog, you are probably a woman.

Growing up I remember my mom brushing my hair. I remember having this huge knot right behind my neck that had to be unmatted. It took her ages to detangle me. I was crying and upset, and my mother said something to me I will never forget: “A little pain is a little beauty.”

The things we do to be “beautiful” are really over the top stupid. Imagine if you were an alien looking at us from outer space and you saw that all these tortures were not only self inflicted, painful, and expensive; but that we deeply wanted them. What would you think? Us women are a strange bunch. But if you think a little deeper, there is more to it than that.

I just read the most amazing book called Dietland by Sarai Walker. It made me think a lot about all the self harm we do in order to fit someone else’s idea of what women should be. Someone needs to slap those people. We are rad as fuck just the way we are, dontcha know!? When it comes to Dietland,  what looks like some ordinary chick lit, with its cutsey little cover, is actually one of the most eye poppingly unique feminist manifestos I have ever had the pleasure of reading (and that’s saying quite a bit as I do a lot of reading and have a minor in Women’s Studies). It starts off being about a fat girl who goes by the name of Plum. Plum is trapped in her 300+ pound fleshy suit of armor which prevents her from living the life she wants. Instead of relationships and romance, she gets snide and nasty comments. Instead of feeling worthwhile and beautiful, she covers herself in loose clothes trying to go unnoticed. She is contemplating gastric bypass surgery when the story opens. What actually unfolds, however, is not your typical fat girl gets thin and gets a guy book. No indeed. What happens, as Plum’s journey unfolds, is that Dietland leads the reader to question why being fat is actually so bad. For that matter, why as women, do we feel such a desperate need to cling to almost unattainable standards in order to feel that we have worth? Is beauty the most important thing to aspire to? Aren’t we more than the flesh suits we live in? Maybe our fat / unibrows / excessive body hair / flat chests / aging bodies aren’t really the problem.

Dietland  was not just an engaging read. At times it is dark and hardcore, at times it is funny and sweet. It also made me angry … but in a good way. Some of the characters in this book were also angry, and the novel explores what happens when women stop trying to be all sugar and spice and decide to fight back. Dietland will leave you with a smile on your face, an unapologetic door stopper of cake in your hand, and a feeling of empowerment. This book is for any woman who ever felt like she was “less than.” So yeah, this book is for anyone who is a woman. I wish I was rich like Oprah and could buy a copy for every single woman I know. I hope you read it.

Oh Mr Darcy, you must stop undressing me with your eyes!
Oh Mr Darcy, you must stop undressing me with your eyes!

Early last week, I had a few down days. Things were rough at work, and also I am still dealing with some messy and painful feelings with regards to Napoleon. He never responded to my gushy declarations I made after visiting the Frida Kahlo exhibit — I think I came on way too strong. I think I made something of a fool out of myself. All I got was silence, and sometimes a person’s silence has the power to speak louder than words ever could. Unrequited love… it’s a bitch!  I confided in my friend J, and she made me promise that I would stop embarrassing myself.

I don’t need to tell you that real love is not something that a person needs to beg for, it is given freely, openly, and happily. Sometimes my emotions make me forget that. What is the prize in winning a man who doesn’t actually want me?

“You have got to watch the PBS (BBC) version of Pride and Prejudice,” J said, “that is real romance.” J explained that Elizabeth Bennet never begged, she maintained her dignity and wound up with the delicious Mr Darcy without ever abandoning her composure. Perhaps that was a good part of her charm for him.

*Le sigh*  I need to wait for the man who would do anything to be with me, not one I have to chase. Oh Mr Darcy, I am over here daaahling!
*Le sigh*
I need to wait for the man who would do anything to be with me, not one I have to chase. Oh Mr Darcy, I am over here daaahling!

At first, he seemed to find Elizabeth merely “tolerable,” but he became dazzled her her bookish ways, her wit, and her pretty eyes.

Um, Mr Darcy, did you perhaps fail to notice that Ms Caroline also has lovely eyes too? Come a little closer *snigger*
Um, Mr Darcy, did you perhaps fail to notice that Ms Caroline also has lovely eyes? Come a little closer *snigger* I won’t bite… well, not on our first date.
Yes dear, I know. I told you I had pretty eyes.
Yes dear, I know. I told you I had pretty eyes.

Men really are better in books it seems, so much more romantic (not to mention handsome LOL), but I am not looking for perfection. Do you know what I want? My perfect happy ending? It’s not actually a gorgeous man with tons of money. I will tell you what I want, because I have pictured it in my head so many times. In my imagination I can see myself and the man I love. I don’t know what he looks like, that part really isn’t that important. We are sitting on the couch and watching TV. We are not cuddled up together or even touching for that matter. He is seated on one end, and I am on the other. I look over at him, and he is smiling. I feel loved, and in my head, I  am thinking, “Yeah, he’s got my back.” I’ve learned it’s not the poetry, the expensive chocolates, or the sweet words that really mean anything. The real fairy tale starts when all that stuff is over and you are left with someone that you know is going to walk through the sh*t with you, never letting go of your hand. That man is my Mr Darcy, and I can’t wait to meet him.