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Sometimes a woman needs to date herself. This was the case even when I was married. I lived a very solitary life as a housewife. My ex was often busy, and was not around much (I wonder why…). I learned that if I wanted to do something I had a choice: I could go alone or not go at all. It wasn’t a hard decision for me. My sister in law would tell me that it was “sad” that I’d do all these things by myself. I would always reply, “What’s sadder, me going alone, or you staying home?” I would go to nice restaurants on my own, shopping, see shows, and even spend a few days in Paris all by myself. It was surprisingly empowering. Believe it or not I have grown to love my little solo adventures. Sure, doing what you love with someone you love is the best, but doing what you love on your own really isn’t that bad… actually it’s kind of awesome. There is something very self indulgent about it. I can do exactly what I want without having to worry about what someone else thinks. I don’t need to care if someone is having a good time. I don’t need to worry about what restaurant someone else wants to eat at, or what kind of schedule they are on. I can spend all my time looking at ballgowns and fantasizing if that’s what I choose. It’s all about me. I have to say, I’m totally ok with that. It’s come to a point that I’m so used to having my solo adventures, that these days, doing things with someone else sometimes feels outside of my comfort zone. I’m not a loner by any means, but my alone time is special to me. I treasure it.

Friday I took the day off from work and got to fulfill a wish of mine: seeing Dita Von Teese perform in one is her burlesque show, The Art of the Teese. I am such a big fan. I love her for her grace, style, talent, her cheeky elegance, not to mention her exceptional beauty. When I found out she was going to be in Miami at The Fillmore, there was nothing that could keep me away. I desperately wanted to go with Birdy, but that didn’t work out. Still, I was going. No man is going to suck the joy out of my life. Yeah, I get hurt and upset (and the truth is I miss him terribly), but ultimately I realize that I do have a say in how happy I get to be. Despite some bad days, I will always choose happiness. ALWAYS.

It’s no secret that I like to treat myself well when I can, so that’s exactly what I did. First stop was a late lunch at The Dutch in the W Hotel in South Beach. I had a yummy spicy  Korean fried chicken sandwich with fries, followed by what I’m guessing is the world’s best key lime pie. It is godly my dears. The holy grail of key lime pie, and believe me, I’ve had a few.  These thighs don’t lie.

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I walked along Lincoln Road Mall, but in all honesty that wasn’t doing it for me. It was 96 degrees out, and I was melting. I persevered. I was going to see Dita.

Just waiting on line at The Filmore was an experience. Some people were dressed to the nines, a la Dita. How I wish I knew how to do my hair Dita style. Note to self: must watch hair tutorials on YouTube. Just people watching was entertaining. But the show itself? It was everything. Dita was glorious!!! Wonderful costumes, dancing, humor… and get this, there was even a real live marriage proposal on stage. My favorite act was the opener where Dita does her famous champagne glass routine. There were also some other awesome burlesque dancers (which I guess gave Dita the chance to rest between sets), and there was a super funny and fabulous master of ceremonies who kept us laughing the whole time. Dita certainly had an awesome “Vontorage.” It was an evening of rhinestones, glamour, and fun. It was something I will never forget, and I’m so glad I went. If you have the opportunity to go, GO! That’s all I can say.

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The moral of this post: don’t be afraid or intimidated from doing things alone. It’s better than doing nothing at all. In fact, you may find yourself in a storm of Swarovski and Louboutins with a supremely delicious key lime pie in your belly. I think we can all agree, there ain’t nothing wrong with that.

No reason to hate me because I'm beautiful. Today I'm going to share my  beauty secrets!
No reason to hate me because I’m beautiful. Today I’m going to share my beauty secrets!

Today I wanted to talk about something that has nothing to do with men. Sometimes they just aren’t worth talking about LOL… geez, what a headache! Someone once interviewed a lady who lived to be in her 100s, and she said the secret to her longevity was realizing that men just weren’t worth it… I got to say, all the tears of frustration we cry over men, they sure can age a girl. Not good.

Today I want to talk about something fun and girly: beauty. I am big into skin care, much more so than makeup. If you have good skin, you don’t need tons of makeup. And loads of makeup, while it can look amazing from far, is not that pretty on close inspection. I only really wear makeup when I want to impress someone. Other than that, I’d just rather skip it. I prefer to be natural.

Since I moved to Florida, my skin isn’t as in great shape as it was when I left England. My normally smooth skin is erupting most unpleasantly LOL. I think partly it’s the huge change in climate, also I haven’t been eating as healthy now that I don’t have my own kitchen anymore or shop for my own food, and some of it may have to do with stress *cough* (code word for men).

I don’t have loads of money to spend these days, but I refuse to use cheap stuff on my face, after all, I’ve only got one. Invest a little money daaahlings, its better than wrinkles and saggy skin later on. I do buy the good stuff despite my craptastic paycheck.  I just have a very pared down beauty regime, my holy trinity. These are the three products I would not want to be with out. They are worth their pricetag.

For lovely pale and wrinkle free skin... just like the beautiful Dita Von Teese.
For lovely pale and wrinkle free skin… just like the beautiful Dita Von Teese.

So, in my opinion, the best thing a girl can do for her skin is to protect it. Before heading out for the day, it is crucial to shield our gorgeous faces from the harmful effects of of UVA and UVB rays. The problem is that most of the stuff out there is just so damned uncomfortable. It’s either super greasy, heavy feeling, or leaves a bit of a film on the skin. I was lucky to stumble across Kiehl’s Since 1851 Super Fluid UV Defense SPF 50+. The super high protection factor is great for my pale skin, but I also love it  because it dries so completely matte and non-greasy. You don’t feel like you are wearing anything. It is a pleasure to wear… now all I have to do is to remember to wear it more often!

Catherine de Medici was a fan of Santa Maria Novella, one of the world's oldest pharmacies... not to mention Moi.
Aside from my good self, Catherine de Medici was also a fan of Santa Maria Novella, one of the world’s oldest pharmacies.

Now this next item I’m going to tell you about, is my special secret: Santa Maria Novella’s Rose Water.  I adore it. It is a pain in the rear to get ahold of, but I would not be without it. I know this is going to sound a little silly, but using it reminds me that I’m me, that inside me, lives a Little Miss Fancy Pants with an unbreakable spirt that no Dr ManWhore (or anyone else for that matter) can ever extinguish.  The scent, unlike most overpowering rosewater products, is simply lovely.  I love swiping it across my face to freshen myself up when I wake up and before bed. Now I’ve got to be honest, I don’t think it does anything super miraculous, I just like how I feel when I use it. Maybe it’s a sentimental thing, but it’s something that will always be in my repertoire.

I doubt there is more effective and gentle makeup remover available than this one.
I doubt there is more effective and gentle makeup remover available than this one.

Though I don’t wear much makeup, there are times where a girl wants to impress. I find makeup around the eyes particularly difficult to remove. My eyes are sensitive and I don’t like to rub them too much. There is no more gentle, pleasant, and effective remover than the cleansing oils made by Shu Umera. I love the way the oil makes your mascara practically “melt” right off.

Shu Umeura was a Tokyo makeup artist in 1950s Hollywood. His cleansing oil was a favorite with one of my all-time hall of fame beauties: Marilyn Monroe. When you try this, you will understand why. I am currently using Ultime8 Sublime Beauty Cleansing Oil—Marilyn used the original formula (which is classic for a reason).

So there you have it my lovelies, my beauty secrets revealed. Yeah, you aren’t going to find these goodies in any discount stores, but don’t be cheap with yourself. You are worth it! And you know what? It’s better to buy a couple of really awesome expensive things than loads of junky cheap stuff that ends up costing you the same.

What are your skin must haves? Don’t be stingy, its time to share with the class ;).

Dita, probably the most glamorous woman alive today.
Dita, probably the most glamorous woman alive today.

One woman that I really admire is Dita Von Teese. She is sexy without being trashy, her appearance is immaculate, and though she has been through her share of drama, she always gives the appearance of complete composure. Moi needs to adopt a bit of that into my own life.

Here is a great video where Dita talks about keeping your dignity (among other stuff), which I have watched several times.

You know I always thought when you loved somebody you were supposed to lower your wings of humility. You should, but I’ve learned that there is a point where you can lower them so much, that you loose your self respect, and you start to feel worthless. You would hope that the person you loved would not allow you to get to that point, but the thing is, they may not return your feelings for them with equal affection. You have to set boundaries. Your boundaries are like your dignity, and you can not relinquish them without loosing yourself. I have learned to never be so desperate to holding on to someone that you loose yourself in the process.

I’m going to be honest here, I no longer recognize my value. My soon to be ex destroyed it, and if there was any bit of it left, I lost it to the man I fell in love with after him. I am so quick to cheapen myself because I want to be loved so desperately. This is something that I guess I’m going to need to work on. I know I am a decent human being. I am loving and kind (and I have pretty hair LOL). Someday a man might look upon me and recognize me as the love of his life… but not if I don’t recognize it first.

And here are some gratuitous pictures of Dita because I think she is awesome! I hope one day I get to see one of her burlesque shows. Dita daaahling, if you are reading this, hook me up *kisses*

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